I Love........Overcoming Can't

I love OVERCOMING CAN'T.

While some people may see me as an optimist, my natural instinct is usually pessimism. Especially when it is about trying something new. I'm a scaredy cat. I don't like failure. I feel that I am naturally inept at a whole lot of things. Some is due to my short attention span, some is due to my lack of hand/eye coordination. Most is just due to my fear of new things and not wanting to try.

I think we often want to live life wrapped in bubble wrap.....protected, but still able to see the outside. We don't think about the fact that the bubble wrap distorts our vision. Keeps us from really seeing the true beauty of the earth. Keeps us from interacting with life. That bubble wrap may keep us from getting a bruise if we fall down, but may cause us to break our ankle because we can't see things in front of us.

As I've gotten older I have found I am going in the opposite direction than I ever thought I would. I thought growing older meant I earned the right to try fewer new things. Really....that's what I thought. (Evidence that I felt pressure to try new things and didn't want to!) The great thing about aging was that you got to remain in your comfort zone and no one pressured you to do anything else. "Old people" didn't do anything new....they did the expected "old people" things. (You know.... eating at the K&W, driving slowly in front of people who are late, and taking naps.)

As I got older and got closer to earning "old people" status (I officially got there when I qualified for a AARP card, right?), I saw things were a bit different. My friends and family members that are older than me didn't all do what they were supposed to. They didn't meet the stereotype. Well, some did.....but they are not the ones that I wanted to be like. The ones I really wanted to be like were the ones of whom people would say "Don't they know how old they are?" The ones who didn't slow down...who not only kept going, but seem to be having the time of their lives! They may have retired from jobs, but not from living.

I have found that I have a different view of fear now that I have gotten older. It's OK. It's natural. We are weird if we don't feel it. That doesn't mean that we have to avoid it. One of the best feelings I have experienced in life is going beyond what I think I can. I don't always understand why I do things. Often I think is because I am tired of the word "can't". Tired of being bested by fear. Tired of meeting my own expectations....but those expectations being low.

I don't use the word "can't" much any more. I may say "I don't want to." I may say "I don't like the odds." I may say "That's not where I want to invest my time or resources." I've learned that "can't" is only powerful when I give it power. There are many more options available to me than I ever would have thought. Lack of attention and lack of hand/eye coordination? They're just excuses, that can be overcome. I have other strengths that can compensate if necessary. We usually aren't good at things the first time we do things. We fear the new. It's not just me. It's the norm.

Great rewards come from doing those things that we thought we could never do. I love overcoming can't....because I most definitely can.

Half Full or Half Empty?

I've never quite figured out whether I am an optimist or a pessimist......is that glass half full or half empty?  Each glass seems to be a bit different to me, so I can't seem to come up with a consistent answer to that question. On most days I can come by an answer easily, but while it's half full on some days it is very clearly half empty on others.  Yeah, I know.....I think I over-analyze, too.

I'd love to be an eternal optimist.  Look at the world as everything being basically good.  As everything working out in the end.  Think the odds for most things are in our favor.  See people live happily ever after.  Trust that God has got it all handled and we get to just watch and see it all play out.  And I do believe that most days.   I usually believe that at my heart level.

But then there are the thoughts in the crevices of my mind.  The lack of trust that the good will last.  The part just waiting for the days when those insurmountable problems crop up.  When I remember that we live in a sinful world.  When I see people suffering, not of their own accord, not by something that they chose to invite into their lives, but by something that intrudes upon them anyway.  It eats away what was once the beautiful life they created for themselves and totally takes over.  There is the person whose life cancer tries to steal.  There is the person who had the job they loved, they worked hard at it for 30 years, they thought they would retire from it and then come in one day and find out that it has been eliminated.  Or the person who thought they were inviting in that prince or princess into their home and it turns out to be a wolf or a witch.  It's harder to see the happily ever after in the midst of the pain.  (Yeah, I read a lot of fairy tales growing up.  So????)

When it gets down to it, though, there are days you want the glass to be half empty and there days when you want that glass to be half full.  Because it all depends on what is in the glass!  I had my first colonoscopy this year.  If you haven't had one, I promise you.....you want to believe the glass is half empty.  The fact that your mind is telling you it is half full is proof that sometimes your mind is very evil.  BUT.....when you get that pronouncement of good health or they find polyps or cancer at early stages and take them away, you remember that every drop of that nasty liquid was as a whole very, very good.  At least you remember that for a while.

Because of my polyp, I will have to have another colonoscopy in five years instead of the standard ten.  I suspect when that time comes to consume the liquid to prep for it, I will see that glass as very, very full.  And very, very gross.  So would that make me an optimist or a pessimist?  But then I think that maybe somewhere in the world today there is someone altogether brilliant, creating great alternatives for that foul liquid.  In five years they could remove that question from the equation.  I think I am going to choose to believe this will happen....which must mean I have optimistic leanings.  But I won't be surprised if it doesn't....so........maybe I am a pessimist?

Half full, or half empty....it's all a matter of perspective.   Sometimes we want the glass to be full, sometimes we want it to be empty.  Sometimes we notice the good, sometimes we notice the bad.  Someone's optimism is usually someone's pessimism.  But when it gets down to it, sometimes you just need to enjoy the act of being offered a glass, tasting what's in it, and not waste time measuring.  Instead you get to decide whether you want to drink or lay down the glass and walk away. Choices are so very often a good thing.

So now....am I a realist or an idealist?  Guess that is a subject for another day.