The Challenge - Day 2

My friend Nancy challenged me to 7 days of sharing a Bible verse (or verses) that are meaningful to me. Up for Day 2....

"There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:

 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood,

 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, 

a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers." Proverbs 6:19 (NIV)

Or in another translation...

"

Here are six things God hates, and one more that he loathes with a passion:

 eyes that are arrogant, a tongue that lies, hands that murder the innocent,

 a heart that hatches evil plots, feet that race down a wicked track, 

 a mouth that lies under oath, a troublemaker in the family." 

Proverbs 6:19 (CEV)

I love a good story, the more dramatic the better, and because of that I am sometimes drawn to gossip. You too? I suspect so. Even if you pretend not to be interested.

Hearing of the drama of other people's lives enthralls us. We often believe it to be true without questioning it. We are so quick to destroy the lives and reputations of others that it amazes me. It's as though we're living a version of the Hunger Games and cheering on neighbors as they kill neighbors... for our personal entertainment.

Now, I don't think we necessarily set out to destroy lives in talking about such things....but it happens quite easily. Good people spread gossip. We take "facts" told to us by other people as the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, without question. We judge them as guilty, without the benefit of a trial. We would be shattered if it was done to us. What's really sad is that it probably has been done to us or to those we love. We don't seem to learn from it. We don't give others the consideration that we would expect. We don't treat others with the same kindness we would like applied to our own loved ones.

What do we look for in ourselves and others to see if this is a problem? There is a great list here.

Haughty eyes - Often a gossip is quite convincing. They (we) will look you straight in the eyes and tell you something is true. Their evidence? Well, if you question them you may find it is a bit spotty. Phrases like "I just know." "Someone told me it looked as though this was true." "I had a feeling." "I put two and two together." I'm definitely a believer in intuition....but I know not everyone has it, those feelings don't always prove to be true, and probably we shouldn't buy everyone's "feelings" as truth. Sometimes when we think we have it all figured out, we really don't. Keep those haughty eyes in check.

A lying tongue - In your life, what is truth? Is it fact, or rumor? Is smoke always fire? Do you accept all as fact, until someone proves it isn't true, or the opposite? Because someone says something as truth, you don't have to believe it without question. In fact, you are foolish if you do. When words leave your lips (or your fingers), are they really the truth? Does that matter to you? Our tongue can be our most destructive weapon....we need to take care that we don't speak without thought.

Hands that shed innocent blood - Blood is not just shed by swords or other obvious weapons. Some of the worse bloodshed is the person who condemns an innocent. I sometimes have to put myself in my place by reminding myself that it is very probable I would have been at the foot of the cross condemning Christ. I hope seeing that mental picture of myself keeps me from doing the same thing to other people. Sometimes it does, but I haven't gotten it perfected.

A heart that devises wicked schemes -We can be a manipulative people. Unfortunately that manipulation is not usually used for someone else's good. Funny, that. If we are spending our time coming up with ways to destroy the lives of others, it may be time for a heart check and a redirection of its use. As the creative type, personally I could be really good at "wicked scheme planning" if I were to put my energy to it. I try to keep my energy headed in different directions. Sometimes that is difficult. Constant heart checks, and a plan for how I want my heart to act, help.

Feet that are quick to rush into evil - What direction are we headed? Is it taking us toward good things or evil? Are we running with the mob without really knowing what the mob is all about? Do we know what the mob is about is wrong, but joining them anyway? Or are we the lone ranger type and rushing into it all in our own? Our feet head where our brain tells them to...we need to keep our brain headed in the right place so our feet follow,

A false witness who pours out lies - I've been a reporter before, covering an event that another reporter has covered. When I read their story I thought "Where in the world were they?" It's like we saw totally different things happen. What would a reader believe to be true?

I'm also a big reader and I have always been a fan of the "unreliable narrator." The unreliable narrator tells the story through their own perception, or through what they want you to believe as the truth. When it gets down to it, what they say is certainly not truth and may be a total distortion of the facts or just enough of a distortion to really confuse your mind. They're not just in books....we're all unreliable narrators at least some if the time. Sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose. An unreliable narrator can be very convincing, and make you feel like a fool. So can a false witness. Even worse is when you realize you are one yourself.

A man (or woman) who stirs up dissension among brothers - We know the pot stirrers. Let's just call them bullies. They don't go away with childhood. Sometimes they just get better at it. Those people who want others to join them as they go against someone? As they attack their character or their reputation? You have the power to say no. If you fall in step with them, you are responsible for the destruction. If you are leading the pack, you are responsible for the carnage...and are negatively impacting our world.

These things are called out as things that God hates...things he finds detestable...things he loathes with a passion. Strong words. Are those the things you want to spend your time doing? As I think about it, I have to agree with God. Personally I don't want these things to mark my life story. They can inch into your life subtly and become who you are in no time.

One of the messages for my church this Sunday was that sometimes, if we are living as Christ lived, as God wants us to live, we will sometimes be at odds with those who we love. For me, if God hates it, I want to hate it, too. That doesn't always come naturally to me. It may not come naturally to you either. I am sure I have done, and maybe still do, these seven things. It's easy to get caught up with the drama and want to be part of it. For myself, I decide what kind if drama I want to support. I want to live a life that leads to good things, not destruction...and I want to encourage that in others..

My goal is to have eyes that shine light, a tongue that tells truth, hands that protect the innocent, a heart that looks for new ways to love, and feet that run to goodness. I want to be a reliable witness to truth and I want to promote peace in my family, in my friendships, in my church, in my community, in my country, and in my world. 

I commit to these things even if I am the only one who will, but together we can make a greater impact. Care to join me?

"There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:

 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood,

 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, 

a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers." Proverbs 6:19 (NIV)

(Join me in the Bible verse challenge - seven days of sharing verses that are meaningful to you.)

Perception And Truth - Not the Same Thing

"The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars and the selfish hide in high places."  Bryant H. McGill

“All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.”  Friedrich Nietzsche 

“There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love."  Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again?"  Rosa Parks


Recently I said to someone "Perception is everything".... and at the time it seemed to be.  Not only that, it seemed stronger than the truth. But that statement has sort of haunted me.  As I have continued to think about it, I have remembered that no matter what the cliche, perception is usually not the truth.  While perception has certain implications and consequences, and can seem to be the last word on a particular subject, it is usually not truth's equal.  I personally value truth much higher. 

I tend to forget sometimes that the opinions of others don't matter.  OK, I tend to forget it a lot. And in the context of our day to day life, unfortunately they seem to.  Lately I had that circumstance come up that happens to us all....someone said something about me that wasn't true.  That in itself wasn't what hurt the most.  What really hurt was that people who I felt knew that it wasn't true did not defend me.  They just let the statement stand.  People who did not know me took it as fact.  In the context of life and the context of time, it will not matter.  But for that moment  it stung and was devastating.

So my reaction?  I got defensive.  I sometimes feel that I live with a defensive shield in my right hand at all times.  That's what I lead with.  Almost always.  When someone says things to me that hurt, or do things to me that hurt, I pull up that shield and try to hide behind it.  I'm not very fast.....usually the me behind that shield is injured.  But perhaps my "opponent" doesn't see.  That is my hope.

Lately I feel especially gouged.  I have had to have that shield up often.  I dodge to the right, I dodge to the left.  My soul cries out in frustration. I try to cling to God, but sometimes feel my arms aren't long enough to reach.  And they aren't.  (And if they were, there would be amazing players in my way, playing the world's best defense, still keeping me at bay.)

But instead.....this I know.  God's arms are long enough to reach me and he just knocks those defensive players down.  His arms can find me and comfort me.  They can lead me.  They can protect me.  While I am inadequate, God is not.  He is sufficient.  He has every day of my life planned, every hair on my head numbered (this is not as difficult as it used to be before the days of peri-menopause, but that is a subject for another day.  It once was a feat beyond imagination.)  To him I have value and purpose.

In this situation I felt like God said "Wait on me."  Not my favorite command.  I want to do something.  I want to fight injustice.  And while that defensive posture was my first strike, and I had a whole battle plan set to go, God said no.  He reminded me that sometimes I need to do nothing but pray and watch and trust Him to work.  And while I was in the right about that particular thing, He showed me other areas of my life that I needed to work on instead.  He reminded me that I was not so great, but still He sees me as totally amazing and worthwhile. (But obviously not perfect!)  So I tried to leave it alone and invested my time in these other things that needed work.

Today, out of the blue, I had my first answer to that prayer.  God went beyond my expectations and showed me some of His protection.  It is encouraging.  It is humbling.  And the story is not over yet.

Other people will impact my life.  People will lie.  People will hurt me.  People will look at me and see something that is not there.....or they will look at me and see only the negative things that make up who I am.

They won't see the love of God that covers those things, they won't see the good in me or the growth in me, how far I have come, and how far I can possibly go. But as for me, I need to make sure that I am living in truth, that I am looking at myself in truth, and I am looking to God to define truth.  I believe that there are natural consequences for our actions, both good and bad.  And I believe truth eventually rises to the surface.  Everything else will sink.

Perception is nothing, really.  It is formed on the basis of rumors, innuendo, boredom, entertainment, misplaced power, someone having a bad day, someone having a bad life, anger, suspicion, people getting defensive, someone passing the buck, people being too lazy to seek truth....so many things.  Sometimes that perception seems bigger than we are.  And it can definitely impact our lives.  We can only do so much to fight it.  We need to leave it to God.   As for ourselves, we need to keep looking in an unwarped mirror and deal with what we see.   We need to make sure that we are living truthfully, and that we are the kind of people that God likes.  And that we are not the kind of people who are impacting the lives of others with mere perceptions, not backed up by truth.

"There are six or seven kinds of people the Lord doesn't like:  Those who are too proud or tell lies or murder, those who make evil plans or are quick to do wrong, those who tell lies in court or stir up trouble in a family."   Proverbs 6:16-19

Hunted by Proud Hunters - Or How Debt Can Kill You

 Day 6 in Proverbs
Proverbs 6: 1-9 "My child, suppose you agree to pay the debt of someone, who cannot repay a loan.  Then you are trapped by your own words, and you are now in the power of someone else.  Here is what you should do:  Go and beg for permission to call off the agreement.  Do this before you fall asleep or even get sleepy.  Save yourself, just as a deer or a bird tries to escape from a hunter.  You lazy people can learn by watching an anthill.  Ants don't have leaders, but they store up food during harvest season.  How long will you lie there doing nothing at all? When are you going to get up and stop sleeping.  Sleep a little.  Doze a little.  Fold your hands and twiddle your thumbs.  Suddenly everything is gone, as though it had been taken by an armed robber."

Proverbs 6:  16-19 "There are six or seven kinds of people the Lord doesn't like:  Those who are too proud or tell lies or murder, those who make evil plans or are quick to do wrong, those who tell lies in court or stir up trouble in a family."

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Quite a few years ago now, a co-worker of mine, that I considered to be a friend, asked to borrow money.  She seemed desperate.  I had very little extra money at the time, and the amount she was asking for was about the sum total of that extra money.  But I could tell she was frantic, so I let her borrow the money.  For me, it was a lot of money.  I never asked what she needed it for.....and she never told me.  She was supposed to pay me back immediately.  She didn't.  She made a lot of promises (with great sincerity and charm) over a period of several years and never delivered on them.

Several years later my car broke down and I desperately needed that money.  I went to my "friend"...who had never paid back even $1 of what she owed me.  She said she didn't have it to give me, nor did she have a way to get it to repay me.   I had to borrow the money from my parents (note: I did pay them back as soon as possible!)  When I heard from the grapevine she bought a house (meaning somewhere she came up with the money for a down payment), I finally conceded that she had taken advantage of me and never, ever intended to pay me back.  Even more difficult.....I finally conceded she was never really my friend.  I  probably should have realized that early in the process when she continued to shop, not cut expenses, and never seriously tried to find a way to repay the loan. (So, it takes me a while!) 

The passage starting chapter 6 uses the situation of putting up a bond for someone.....agreeing to pay their debt if they default.  Agreeing impulsively, without knowing all the facts (or maybe agreeing in spite of knowing the facts.)  Solomon advised his son if he found himself in this situation, to get out of it as soon as he possibly could..... to make it a priority.   He described the debtor as a hunter and he who put up the bond as a hunted animal.  (And we thought they were just being nice!)  A perspective worth noting!

I'm not entirely sure who is the sluggard of which Solomon speaks.  My guess is that it could be either his son or that person in debt.  If it is the son, I would think he would be saying that mental laziness gets us into these sort of predicaments, and instead of dealing with them we let them go (as I did with my friend.)  To do this too often can lead to our personal ruin.  In my situation, had I not been able to borrow money from my parents to fix my car, my whole life would have been in turmoil for a while.  As it was, it put me in a situation where I myself became indebted for a period of time.  She pulled me into the abyss with her.  I had no one but myself to blame.

And then there is that person who is in debt.  What are they doing to get themselves out of it?  Are they working any and every job they can to repay the money?  Are they selling things that are precious to them in an attempt to pay their bills?  Living on ramen noodles?  Going without cable tv (or any tv at all), a cell phone, a computer, meals in restaurants?  Or are they "sleeping a little, dozing a little, and twiddling their thumbs"....very comfortable with the fact that they owe money, and going farther and farther into the hole every day.

You may have picked up that I hate debt on about the same level as I hate drugs.  I think they are the same type of addiction and have seen them both destroy lives of people I love and change who they are.  They start innocently, then you get further and further in and they become more and more destructive.  I have determined for myself that the only time debt is allowed is for a car, home, or medical bills.  I'm not even sure about the car.....and I probably could even make a case against the house.  But I have allowed it for myself.  And I choose what I buy with care....after a keen review of my finances.

Verse 16 lists the prideful as the first type of people that God doesn't like.  We've become a people who think we should have things by what we "deserve".....which is not based on what we have worked for, or saved for, or have the money for.....but some other nebulous characteristic that evidently has to do with our own "fabulous-ness. "   The idea that "I am most special."  It's all about us.  But the reality is that the most special and the most fabulous...they don't necessarily get the most stuff.  One thing has nothing to do with the other.   In fact, the opposite is often the case.  Things don't matter.....but a heart that acknowledges what is good and right and just and pure, God's heart, is.  That is where we should find our value.  Oh....and if you don't have the money and/or are in debt but are still using money as a currency for giving (buying gifts for others, supporting charities, etc.), you are operating from pride and not from truth.  A true gift is given from what you have or what you are.  Not something that is effectively stolen from someone else (your debtors.)

I have learned that money problems can seldom be solved by giving people money.  I've also learned to do your research before you make a deal.  My friend's family had refused to lend her the money.  Friends closer than me had refused.  If I had talked to them, I would have probably seen it wasn't because none had money themselves or because they all lacked generosity.  They knew her character.  She had done this before.  She had money issues.  She never could have enough.  She was selfish.  She was prideful.  The kind of woman God doesn't like much because she has the kind of heart that is difficult to penetrate...she scorns both God and other people.  She lives the kind of life that disheartens those around her.  I know she disheartened me.....and took away an innocence that I wish I still had.  I always want to believe that people are good.....but the truth is, that by nature we are sinners.  It takes self-discipline to control that sin.  We shouldn't be surprised when the lack of it spirals a person out of control.....and we should be weary when it does.  Enabling the behavior is not kind, and not a sign of your strength.  It is, in fact, the opposite.  So take action, lead yourself in the other direction.....and don't be pulled down.  Don't be the hunted animal.  A hunted animal's life is not that great!  And sometimes they are killed.