My Blog Anniversary....and He Is Risen, Indeed!

It's been a year since I started writing this blog.  I began not knowing exactly where I was headed....or how committed to it I was going to be...or even having any idea of how to write a blog at all!  I have a problem with self-discipline when it comes to writing (why I hadn't really written much of anything since college) and wondered if I could do it. But friends had been encouraging and I decided to try.  My goal was to share what I was thinking...to live out loud, was how I put it then.  I've thought about that commitment a lot and at times had to remind myself not to censor myself.  Sometimes I had to confess to things I would prefer to keep to myself.  But I think it is important that we share our lives with each other....and though hiding is easier, it keeps you from owning up to your personal truth and making changes.  I think there also comes a point where keeping things to yourself is selfishness....shouldn't we allow people to learn from our mistakes?  Shouldn't we humble ourselves on occasion?  I don't do it enough, but still....I try!

I don't really write this blog for others. I write for me....and use it as a way to articulate and manage my thoughts.  I need to do it whether anyone ever reads it or not.  Still, it is fun to hear someone has read it and appreciated it.  People I never imagined reading my blog have brought it up out of the blue, and shared their thoughts about it.  That has shocked and delighted me.  Some people have talked about it with their friends or family, or even shared one that is particularly meaningful to them on their Facebook page, and that has touched me each time. It's a cool thing to think you provoked thoughts and discussion.

But don't worry...I am retaining my humility.  Some of the people who love me best have never read it at all. I was a bit sensitive about that at first, but have learned to simply be amused by it.  Most don't because they use their phone more than their computer and it's just too difficult to read by phone.  And I do tend to be a bit long winded.  And I do not keep my opinions to myself, so those close to me have heard enough of them. It's particularly funny when someone else brings it up in front of one of these people.  They always look a bit perplexed like they are  thinking "What's a blog?" or say "I've been meaning to read that."  To my knowledge most still haven't!

Sometimes I have given opinions knowing people I cared about would disagree with them.  Since I have a diverse group of friends and family, it would be impossible not to so that doesn't concern me much.  Most people never tell me when they disagree with me, of course, this being the nature of most Southerners.  I actually wouldn't mind a bit more discussion coming back my way, since I am interested in what other people think.  I don't have the power to change your mind....you control that.  But in case you were wondered whether you disagreeing with me would set me on edge, the answer is no.  I don't change my mind purely because someone tells me how I should think or feel or be... and I don't expect you to either.  But I do change my mind because I hear a point of view that resonates and inspires and helps me see something from a different angle I hadn't considered before.  In fact I change my mind often....and plan to continue doing it for the rest of my life.  It's a lazy mind that doesn't change, I think, and my mind is one part of me I don't want to be lazy!

A few people have told me that something I have written has made them think about an issue differently.  I really didn't want to write about Amendment 1 when it was up for a vote in NC, but finally felt that I had a different viewpoint than I had seen and it would be wrong if I didn't write about it.  It's interesting....more people have read that blog than any other one I wrote.  It could be because I called out my dear friend Al Godley in it (which I admit, maybe I shouldn't have done.....though I did it knowing Al would not be bothered by it, and also be somewhat proud of getting a rise out of me.  And I was right....that was one of my blogs that Al shared on his Facebook page.  Al is somewhat unusual in his perspective and that is one of the reasons I have loved him for so long.  He has the gift of provoking.  Which can be good and bad...but is always interesting!) 

My hope is that the reason that is the most read entry is it is because people aren't as closed minded about issues as it sometimes appears they are....and they are willing to consider thoughts that aren't quite as black and white as their own on an issue.  I'm not overly optimistic that is the case, but I hope so!

I like that another of my most popular blogs was about the Ku Klux Klan rally in Harmony.  I am passionately opposed to racism, and while I have no clue as to what side of the fence those who read it stand on, I hope it caused anyone who judges people by their outer shell to think.  My prayers are for those who judge people by the color of their skin and not, as Martin Luther King so eloquently put it, by the content of their character.  I know God, who created all of these wonderful colors and shades, hates that they hate this glorious rainbow of creation in His image, and often do it in His name. 

(Note:  You can see the "most read" entries on the sidebar of my blog page.  Some of those are my favorites, too, so it is fun when I hear someone enjoys one of them.)

It has been a good year for me in many ways, a sad and frustrating year in others.  Besides my first blog entry, that discusses the death of one of our beloved balloon pilots, I have written blogs following the death of two other friends this year.  In case you wondered, writing about someone who you will not see again on this earth is a definite way to work through your grief.  You end up celebrating their life more than mourning their death....and when it gets down to it, isn't the most significant thing that they lived and we were blessed to know them?

I did skydive in 2012, as I had said I wanted to in my first blog, with the big encouragement and great teaching of my friends Damien and Amanda.  Damien somehow got me to agree to a static line jump instead of my goal of a tandem. He was right.  I did want to fly more than I wanted to ride a roller coaster.  When it got down to it, scared is scared, so why not try to go beyond your own comprehension?   Amanda gave me the confidence to think I could actually do it.  For both Damien and I, I think this jump was a tribute to his dad.  I still think Ed would enjoy that I went where I never, ever expected to go and that his son was the one to push me into it. I hope to continue to bust my own ideas of who I am and who I can be.  When you are trying to do this, you need good friends to encourage you.  I have a fortune in these type of friends.  Scares me to think of what they will come up with next...but I am probably game!

And speaking of those kinds of friends, my friends Joanie and Patsy have been big encouragers to me in my quest to get in better shape by running.  What fun they were to have at my side when I did my first mud run.  We laughed and laughed and simply had a blast together.  We have plans to do several more fun races this year...my first 10 k over the Cooper River Bridge in Charleston next weekend, a Zombie Run, the vibrant and colorful glow-in-the-dark Electric Run, and another mud run.  If it is fun, you almost forget your body can't do it!  My niece Spenser and friend Mandy are doing the Transformation Nation Triad program at the Y with me, under the tutelage of our awesome trainer Casey.  The encouragement and the laughter continues.  I remember every week how far away from being in the kind of shape I want to be in that I am, but also I realize how very far I have come! 

Since my faith is the center of my life, you hear a lot about that in my blog.  Once again, I hope I live it out loud.....the struggles, the frustrations, the joys, the triumphs, the nuggets I find in scripture, the moments where I see God at work, the times I take the time to pray and remember to look for answers and celebrate when I get them.  There's no such thing as a "good Christian"...it's against our nature.  We are perfected as we stand behind Christ and the cross, but ourselves.....we remain big fat sinners.  I probably should be more ashamed of that than I am....but the fact remains that God uses big fat sinners to do big fat world changing things.  I want to be like David or maybe Isaiah....in spite of myself jumping up and down saying "Lord, pick me!"

When I realized my blog anniversary was Easter, I realized the personal significance.  I serve a God that is alive.  He wants my life to be the same....and as active as I may appear, that will always be my struggle.  Sometimes I just seem to go through the motions and forget to really live life well.  I don't really want to waste a minute of the possibilities.....but know often it requires work and the desire to move when I would rather waste my time away!

In that first blog I included these verses from Ecclesiates 3:
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. 
I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race.  
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart;
yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.  That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God."

If I read these verses and say "This is life", I think I can say that most days this year I did live.  As I look down the list, I experienced everything in these verses.  But I still have work to do.  I am still not where I want to be or should be.  But I am confident that God is alive and vital and perfect.  He is risen, indeed.  As for me me, as I begin another year of blog writing, I will continue to rise up and to fall down....and hopefully I will share openly as I do so.  I will eat, drink, and work and seek satisfaction in all three.  I will make every effort to realize that this life is a gift.  To be opened and examined and enjoyed and used.

If you are reading this, thank you for listening to my thoughts.  My prayer for us all is that all that is imperfect within us will be reborn, and a new being will arise daily.  That we will find the truth that makes sense of it all.  That we will live with all of the power and freedom and purpose that God has given us and that we will love God and this life with a strong passion.  That we will be purposeful.  That in spite of the dirt, in spite of the sweat, in spite of the tears, in spite of the obstacles, in spite of the pain, in spite of the criticisms....we will not give up.  That we will allow ourselves to be changed and used.  And while it may not always be smooth sailing, that we will realize we are not the captain, but just a grateful passenger privileged to be along for the glorious ride.

Perception And Truth - Not the Same Thing

"The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars and the selfish hide in high places."  Bryant H. McGill

“All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.”  Friedrich Nietzsche 

“There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love."  Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again?"  Rosa Parks


Recently I said to someone "Perception is everything".... and at the time it seemed to be.  Not only that, it seemed stronger than the truth. But that statement has sort of haunted me.  As I have continued to think about it, I have remembered that no matter what the cliche, perception is usually not the truth.  While perception has certain implications and consequences, and can seem to be the last word on a particular subject, it is usually not truth's equal.  I personally value truth much higher. 

I tend to forget sometimes that the opinions of others don't matter.  OK, I tend to forget it a lot. And in the context of our day to day life, unfortunately they seem to.  Lately I had that circumstance come up that happens to us all....someone said something about me that wasn't true.  That in itself wasn't what hurt the most.  What really hurt was that people who I felt knew that it wasn't true did not defend me.  They just let the statement stand.  People who did not know me took it as fact.  In the context of life and the context of time, it will not matter.  But for that moment  it stung and was devastating.

So my reaction?  I got defensive.  I sometimes feel that I live with a defensive shield in my right hand at all times.  That's what I lead with.  Almost always.  When someone says things to me that hurt, or do things to me that hurt, I pull up that shield and try to hide behind it.  I'm not very fast.....usually the me behind that shield is injured.  But perhaps my "opponent" doesn't see.  That is my hope.

Lately I feel especially gouged.  I have had to have that shield up often.  I dodge to the right, I dodge to the left.  My soul cries out in frustration. I try to cling to God, but sometimes feel my arms aren't long enough to reach.  And they aren't.  (And if they were, there would be amazing players in my way, playing the world's best defense, still keeping me at bay.)

But instead.....this I know.  God's arms are long enough to reach me and he just knocks those defensive players down.  His arms can find me and comfort me.  They can lead me.  They can protect me.  While I am inadequate, God is not.  He is sufficient.  He has every day of my life planned, every hair on my head numbered (this is not as difficult as it used to be before the days of peri-menopause, but that is a subject for another day.  It once was a feat beyond imagination.)  To him I have value and purpose.

In this situation I felt like God said "Wait on me."  Not my favorite command.  I want to do something.  I want to fight injustice.  And while that defensive posture was my first strike, and I had a whole battle plan set to go, God said no.  He reminded me that sometimes I need to do nothing but pray and watch and trust Him to work.  And while I was in the right about that particular thing, He showed me other areas of my life that I needed to work on instead.  He reminded me that I was not so great, but still He sees me as totally amazing and worthwhile. (But obviously not perfect!)  So I tried to leave it alone and invested my time in these other things that needed work.

Today, out of the blue, I had my first answer to that prayer.  God went beyond my expectations and showed me some of His protection.  It is encouraging.  It is humbling.  And the story is not over yet.

Other people will impact my life.  People will lie.  People will hurt me.  People will look at me and see something that is not there.....or they will look at me and see only the negative things that make up who I am.

They won't see the love of God that covers those things, they won't see the good in me or the growth in me, how far I have come, and how far I can possibly go. But as for me, I need to make sure that I am living in truth, that I am looking at myself in truth, and I am looking to God to define truth.  I believe that there are natural consequences for our actions, both good and bad.  And I believe truth eventually rises to the surface.  Everything else will sink.

Perception is nothing, really.  It is formed on the basis of rumors, innuendo, boredom, entertainment, misplaced power, someone having a bad day, someone having a bad life, anger, suspicion, people getting defensive, someone passing the buck, people being too lazy to seek truth....so many things.  Sometimes that perception seems bigger than we are.  And it can definitely impact our lives.  We can only do so much to fight it.  We need to leave it to God.   As for ourselves, we need to keep looking in an unwarped mirror and deal with what we see.   We need to make sure that we are living truthfully, and that we are the kind of people that God likes.  And that we are not the kind of people who are impacting the lives of others with mere perceptions, not backed up by truth.

"There are six or seven kinds of people the Lord doesn't like:  Those who are too proud or tell lies or murder, those who make evil plans or are quick to do wrong, those who tell lies in court or stir up trouble in a family."   Proverbs 6:16-19

Being Bound By the Bills

“Seven Deadly Sins -
Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Science without humanity
Knowledge without character
Politics without principle
Commerce without morality
Worship without sacrifice.”  - Mahatma Gandhi 

"Wouldst thou shut up the avenues of ill, pay every debt as if God wrote the bill.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

“Debts and lies are generally mixed together.” - Francois Rabelais 

“There are but two ways of paying debt: Increase of industry in raising income, increase of thrift in laying out.” - -Thomas Carlyle 

When I was in college, I bounced a check.  Once.  That was the only time.  The bank fees that were incurred because I was irresponsible....they embarrassed me.....and I learned my lesson.  There was no reason for it....it was carelessness on my part.  My parents were paying for most of my college education and the rule was when my bank account balance went down beyond a certain level I was supposed to tell them so they could replenish it.  I was very cautious with my money, because even though they never ever complained about it, I knew they were making sacrifices for my future.  But I just wasn't paying attention.  And those bank fees....they were money they should not have had to pay.  I knew I was the one in the wrong.

My parents were always cautious about debt, and taught us to be the same.  If we couldn't afford it, we didn't get it.  If there was something we needed that we did not have the money for, other things needed to be sacrificed.   There was not an unlimited supply of money, and good decisions had to be made as to what was necessary and what was luxury.  I think the definitions of "necessity" and "luxury" have changed over the years.

I only had a small student loan in college, but it took years to pay off.  Years when I wasn't making much money, so it was often a big frustration to figure out how to pay my bills.  I dealt with a car that broke down constantly, and a paycheck that just didn't stretch very far, and often money was a stress.  I had to go to my parents for money on more than one occasion.  Sometimes they gave me money, sometimes it was a loan.  When it was a loan, it was expected I pay it back.  And I did.  I was an adult....it was time to make my own way in life. Thankfully a lot of my friends were in the same state....we found cheap entertainment, shared our stuff, and all worked to spend as little money as possible.  We learned to live within our means.  Today most of us are in pretty good financial shape, because we sacrificed then to plan for a better future.

As soon as I was able, I got out of debt completely.  The credit cards, the student loans....they were all paid off.  What freedom that was!  I made a vow that the only debt I would incur would be for a house or a car or medical bills.  So far I have stuck to that. To buy or not to buy?  If there is not enough money in the bank account after my current obligations, it is not even a consideration.  Vacations?  Though there is nothing I love more, if I can't pay for it before booking, I can't go.  The coolest car, the coolest clothes, the coolest anything....if I cannot afford it, it will not be mine.  If money gets tight, I cut back.  What is a necessity in my life and what is a luxury?  I carefully consider.  We screw that question up very, very often.  Food, shelter, clothing....those are really all of our needs. But even amongst those things, there is a limit as to when it is a necessity and when it is a luxury.

I am shocked that many people don't understand that when they carry a balance on their credit card, they are renting money.  They look at their minimum payment each month....not at what they are really paying for the item.  So...the average US credit card debt is $7,117 (they include everyone in that figure....even people like me with a zero balance.)  Of those who carry a balance, the average is $15,257.  (Source - http://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/credit-card-data/average-credit-card-debt-household)  So, using the average of $7,117 with a 17% interest rate and a minimum payment of interest +1% of balance, it will take that person 306 months to get rid of that debt.  That is 25 1/2 years...and that is if they don't add to the balance (and how many have that restraint?) By the end of those years, they would have paid $9,523 in interest alone.....more than their original debt.  A total of $16,640.  Was that new living room furniture and big screen tv worth it?  (Note:  I used the bankrate.com debt calculator for this projection.) 

When you borrow (or rent) money, people own a piece of your future.  When you don't pay it back, you have stolen from them.  Yep....even if because of bankruptcy and the courts say you don't have to pay it back, even if the one who lent it doesn't bring up the subject or says it is OK, or even if they are someone who loves you is the one who loaned it to you...you need to pay it back! You have still taken something that wasn't yours.  If you are of good character, shouldn't it matter to you that you are not living up to your obligations?  That you are not the one taking responsibility for your decisions? 

As of March 3 our National Debt is $16,698,235,596.55.  That equates to $53,091.61 per citizen.  (http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock)  As you can imagine, this sickens me.  Our country is a world leader....but how long will that last if we continue to spend like this?  We are so very cocky.  Our creditors are other countries... like I said a few minutes ago, they own a piece of our future.  Our ability to act as a truly free country is somewhat hampered....because we owe them!

I am a believer in caring for our people, but it should be based on whether we have the money to pay for it.  There are so many things that our government pays for that are not necessities, but are instead luxuries.  So much they give away free, when they could require some sort of service for it.  So much they pay for which they could get better prices or they could get someone to volunteer to do it for free. Until our debt is paid off, our government needs to budget.  They need to only pay for those things they can afford, and only at the standard that the budget permits.  We need a budget that is based on what they will receive in taxes, but there also needs to be extra economizing so that we can pay off this debt.  The attitudes of our government officials these days (both Democrats and Republicans) are too often both pompous and thoughtless and weak.... they need to be responsible and creative and strong. 

I love the quote by Thomas Carlyle shown above.  We can only get out of debt two ways.  By working harder (or inheritance or spending the money of others...but let's not go there), or being more thrifty in how we live our lives.  For individuals I think that means being willing to work second jobs (which is definitely difficult in this economy, but from all of the industrious people I know that have two or even three jobs....very possible.)  Sometimes it means finding a job that pays more, that may not be as convenient to your life, or taking a job that you feel is "beneath" you.  I have heard people refuse jobs because "I am better than that!"  No...if that is the only job you can get at the moment, you really aren't!

The other means of getting out of debt is that you have to economize...yes, you princes and princesses...or you, USA!  You shouldn't take advantage of those who have worked hard for what they have and expect them to pay the way for you.  If you are a grownup, your spending or standard of life should not be more than the amount of money you have earned.  Is cable tv a necessity or a luxury?  Is internet service a necessity or a luxury?  Is going out to eat a necessity or a luxury?  Are new clothes a necessity or a luxury?  We have so much luxury in our lives, that sometimes we fail to identify it as such and redefine it as a "need."  So very few things actually are.  The choices you make....you should bear the consequences for them.

We need to apply the same standards for our country.  They either need to increase taxes, or economize.  I don't know about you, but I see much waste in our government and have heard about much more.  Much can be cut out of the budget.  Many dollars that are wasted with no accountability.  No one seems to notice.  People turn a blind eye or say "That's the way it is."  But if I notice and I hear things....I don't buy that those in the thick of it can't do something about it.  There is a lack of concern for spending taxpayer money, and often those who work for the government forget they are a servant of the people.  They forget those extras or things that are not a need take money out of the pocket of their fellow citizens.  Many are not good stewards of our tax dollars.  There is more of a spending game going on (where they see how much they can get) than a team of people who are working together to protect the money of our people.  We are a world leader....are we acting like it in our spending?

We've become such a people of entitlement.  We think the world owes us everything, and we shouldn't have to work or economize.  We can't pay our bills, but we still keep spending.  Both our country and its citizens. We can make some wonderful excuses for why we do this....but you can't kid a kidder.  There are very few valid reasons for debt.

Last week I paid off my car loan.  It felt good.  It felt like I gained a bit more freedom.  And I did!  Debt binds us.  But I know that even when it seems impossible, debt can be paid off,.  As impossible as that massive national debt figure, it can be done.  It takes work, it takes cooperation, it takes honesty, it takes creativity, it takes hard work and it takes a plan.  But it can be done....I have seen people have massive debt (far more than years of their original income) and get out of it.  They worked hard at it and made it a priority in their lives.  They attacked the problem from all angles and accepted the consequences for their past actions.  They were responsible grownups.  You just can't ignore it.  Because unattended, it grows.  It does not go away.  

Money can free us....or it can burden us and make us slaves for life.  It really is our choice.  Are we spending like a millionaire, with a minimum wage paycheck?  Are we renting money for things that aren't really important?  Are we the arrogant prince, princess, government that thinks "I am special....I deserve it."?  Maybe it is time for a change.  I promise....you don't have to spend a lot to live an amazing life.  Those years I struggled, the debt did cause me stressful moments, but overall they were excellent and happy years.  I didn't have much, but I also worked to solve the problem instead of continuing to add to it.   In the long run if those who make our government's budget decisions "lived" within our means, our citizens would be happier, healthier, wealthier and wiser. And maybe once again we could be a free nation.  One whose people are engaged in our government and don't resent how yesterday and today's decisions are going to impact us all in the future.  One who is free from obligations to others because we finally decided not to spend more than we make.
  
 

 

Love Month Revisited - Part 2 (Days 15-29)

Days 15-29 of my Love Month Facebook posts from 2012 (Remember it was Leap Year!)  Looking over these I realize they probably still give a pretty good idea of who I am and what I believe.

Day 15 of Love Month - I love balloonists! Yeah, I know you thought I only hung out with them because there were hot air balloons around and I am out to hitch a ride, but there is something special about the people who are behind the sport. They are adventurers who are obsessed with safety. They are the cool kids, who are actually really big nerds. And they are the Macgyver's of entertainment - they can create it from anything they have on hand.....and will as soon as they hear the words "weather hold." There are those who pilot and those who chase, but all are needed to help create magic moments in people's lives, whether it is a proposal, a check on the bucket list, or a lift in a heavy heart that sees them in action when they are having a bad day. So today..."May the winds welcome you with softness. May the sun bless you with its warm hands. May you fly so high and so well that God joins you in laughter and sets you gently back into the loving arms of Mother Earth." (Balloonist's prayer - author unknown) 

Day 16 of Love Month - I love a good thank you. I'm probably a bit nontraditional in the way I look at them. You don't need to write me a handwritten note afterward.....especially if it is anemic and obviously done only because it is the "proper" thing to do....but it is always good to know that you noticed you got the gift. I'm not an especially good gift giver, and I too have received gifts that miss the mark, but the thought that someone thought of you, and tried to acknowledge you and/or your special event, should always be noticed. (Trust me, that really bad gift may be a horrible result of a lot of hours of frustration and agony in someone's life...on your behalf.)

A verbal thank you is always good, a hug better.....but if you really appreciated it, remembering it with them at a later date is the best thank you ever. If someone gives you cash, does it just get lost in your wallet, or do you think of it as a chance to gift yourself courtesy of the gift giver? It's a good exercise for the recipient when it is spent thoughtfully, with thanks in your heart, and then the details shared with the gift giver later on. You know me.....I rarely give a gift just because it is expected (I try to do little just because it is expected.) I give it because I think the person or event is special and should be surrounded with joy. I've forgotten from time to time who gave me a certain thing that gave me immense pleasure and I hate that so much. I have missed the opportunity to thank them fully....and the opportunity to remember that they specifically have sprinkled my life with joy. 

Day 17 of Love Month - I love healers. Those who spend every day of their life trying to help us find solutions to what ails us and then make us feel better. Take those in the medical profession - sick people are not necessarily at their best, but they (usually) deal with their complaints and frustration with patience and caring. They use the best in medical science to cure bodies, and dole out comfort when they can't. They also deal with the anxious family members and friends who surround their patients, who are in a panic because someone they love is hurting or sick and they can't fix it themselves. They are expected to be gods of sorts, when they are just human beings (though sometimes they are used to make God-breathed miracles come true.) But there must always be a blanket of frustration covering them....as far as medical science has come, they don't know enough, and in an under-staffed and over-complicated system, they can't do enough.

There are other people in our lives who are also healers. They listen to our complaints and help us find solutions. It may be to change what we are doing, or it may be to look at things a whole new way. It may be kind words or hand holding that just helps us get through some of those bad times in life that we must endure. They sometimes pull off the band-aid and sometimes just kiss us and make us feel better. Medicine can fix a lot of things, but the greatest healing is the salve applied to the soul. Yea to the healers that do it! 

Day 18 of Love Month - I love people who love the one they're with. It's so easy these days to be tempted by technology. It entertains us and engrosses us as we explore what it can do and allows us to connect to people (those we know and those we don't know) like we never could have believed. But when that technology causes us to ignore those people who are actually around us, it is the ultimate dismissal ("diss" to my young friends.) Be it your smart phone, your absolutely amazing big ole widescreen hdtv, your computer.....they are all good things that become evil when they take precedence over people.

A virtual world can be so much fun. I'm an introvert by nature, so would be quite happy residing there. It connects me to some very cool and entertaining friends that live far away and captivates me with all that is available there. How great is it that I can play Scrabble with someone who lives in a different state....or country? But I wasn't created to live in a virtual world full time and though residing there may be easier for me sometimes, I have a responsibility to deal with the real one. Flesh and blood people were put around me for a reason, and they deserve my attention.

So let's not run away from reality and hide behind the technology. Yeah, we know you are so very popular that you are always in demand by people and things at the other end of that smart phone (your future's so bright, ya gotta wear shades), but take a minute, turn it off and look across the table. Snuggle with the person sitting next to you on the couch. Dance with the one who brung ya. Shouldn't they trump your technology? When you look at that screen you are making a choice....and sometimes that choice is to be insulting and rude to those who deserve something better. They deserve the attention of the flesh and blood you. So give them that attention. Or just go ahead and dismiss them from your presence outright.

Day 19 of Love Month - I love the church. I'm not talking about the buildings here, though some of them are absolutely magnificent and I personally can't help but worship God just by being in them. It reminds me of the most beautiful scenery God has created and I know he also had a hand in that craftsmanship. For me it is easy to worship the master of creation there. Still, as I have traveled the world and toured a lot of these churches, I have noticed that many of these awe-inspiring structures are almost empty when services begin. They have become little more than tourist sites. That's probably because people have gloried in the church building instead of exercising the power of the real church.

The real church is made up of the people, the Christian church by those who follow Christ. There is one commonality with Christian believers, we must believe and admit that we are sinners (Christians don't inherit their faith, as some would have you believe.) We have to strip ourselves naked (figuratively speaking, of course!) of the excuses and of convention (that would teach us to at least keep our clothes on) and say "Hey God, it's me. The real me. The ugly me. And I can't do it alone and don't want to do it alone. Can you join me and take over the controls?"

These people then become part of a body called a church. And when we don't forget our place, or our focus, or try to take over the jobs of others (such as the job of the Holy Spirit), it's an incredibly great thing to be a part of. It's alive and vital, and made up of people sharing what they have, looking out for the needs of each other, cheering each other on to do good things, and noticing that there is a world that needs the love of God.

Churches are made up of "sinners"....so if you are looking for a perfect one, you are by nature on a futile search. Being part of a church is in itself difficult. You have heard they are made up a lot of hypocrites. Yep, the first being me...the second being you. But join one that is trying and you get glimpses of people who are getting it right. Who are encouraging you to get it right. Who are loving passionately and purely and who are focusing on the will of God....not on the will of man. We're told that the church needs to meet together regularly... in other words we need to hang out with other people who believe in the same God we do.... to inspire us and to keep pointing us in the right direction. Because we have attention problems. We have many things that distract us. We get discouraged because we so often miss the mark and it causes us to get a bit wacky and spiral in the wrong direction. And when we are distracted and discouraged and spiraling out of control, our focus is clouded and we miss an amazing God at work. So it is good to have someone to put their arm around us and steady us and help us regain our focus. That is the real church at work. And while as a Christian you are allowed the freedom to opt out of being a part of it, know that in doing so your decision is not just about you. Someone may need your arm.

Day 20 of Love Month - I love when people are willing to be undignified for the sake of others. (Thanks Mike Madding!) Years ago my friends David and Alison Bowman and I led the youth group for a group of junior high (now called middle school...yeah, it was a while ago) kids at our church. It was time for one of our denomination's youth retreats and with Alison pregnant (that was why, right Alison? You didn't just desert us for no reason?) , Dave and I took the group to a retreat at Camp Bonclarken. It came time for the big Saturday night dance, a Bonclarken tradition. I've always hated that so many men are so reluctant to dance (OK, I often am too!) and I figured that middle school was the perfect time to force these kids out on the dance floor. Of course the kids, especially the boys, did not feel the same way and when I issued the edict (and those who know me know I do issue edicts sometimes) that all in our group would dance, it was met with a few groans. My friend Dave, who had never been the first one out on the dance floor (is that an understatement Alison?) knew that his participation was crucial and (maybe a bit reluctantly at first) got his body out on that dance floor. It was that night the animal line dance craze began. Oh, you missed that craze? The alligator was my favorite, I believe, but name an animal and we did the dance. All in our group participated enthusiastically and what could have been an awkward time sitting on the sidelines gave a group of kids (ours and those of other groups) confidence to cut loose. They realized that dancing is not that difficult.... and we all usually look a bit goofy doing it, but that can be fun. Probably there was no dignity whatsoever on that dance floor.... or maybe there was nothing but dignity. It was good!

I guess I could have used myself as an example here, since I endured David spitting in my face at a lock-in at about 4 in the morning for the entertainment of the kids/himself (lock-ins being a torturous activity enjoyed only by kids and rookie youth leaders, for those of you not familiar). But I don't want the nightmares to begin again.... 

Day 21 of Love Month - I love color blind people......and colorful people......and people who celebrate that they live their lives in a colorful world. I've never quite gotten the racism thing. I remained innocent that it even existed for most of the years I was growing up. Our schools were integrated....a little....and those of color were just other classmates to me. Then came college. I lived in a co-ed high rise dorm that had the highest minority percentage on campus. I had a black roommate for my first semester and many black friends. One night, during an election year, I was watching the news in a dorm lounge and a discussion started and escalated. I couldn't listen and not speak. I ended up in a conversation with an angry black man (he would describe me as a crazed white woman.) We cleared the lounge and talked loudly to a impasse. But we both listened. The next night the same thing happened. It got to be a habit. (And fewer people watched the news in the lounge because it was probably not pretty to watch.) The conversations were always loudly spirited and often raw. But we got beyond the rhetoric and developed respect for each other. I learned that my head had been in the sand about the ugliness of racism, the outward hatred many encounter and the even worse subtlety of it. It was wrong to continue to pretend not to notice or care just because I had never voluntarily participated. He learned that not everyone looks at life through racist glasses and all should not necessarily shoulder the blame for the actions of others. To paint all in that picture feeds anger, reinforces stereotypes and usually does not lead to positive solutions. It was an important part of our college education. We lost touch for a time and toward the end of my college years I saw him on a bus and sat down next to him. I noticed a kid's book on his lap. Turns out his current job was as a nanny for a white couple in my church.....who adopted orphaned children of every color of the rainbow from around the world. He was still passionate about racism, but no longer an angry black man. He was loving kids and teaching them to be color blind and celebrate being colorful. We laughed as we remembered our before and after. I have no idea where he is today, but I suspect that he is still changing the world, passionately and positively. I hope this crazed white woman is too. 

Day 22 of Love Month - I love people who can say no! Such a little word that you would think it would be easy to say, but so often it isn't. Refusing to learn it can get your life in an overwhelmed frenzy, and breed a lot of passive-aggressive behavior. I believe anyone has the right to ask me to do anything.....but I have the right to refuse. Even nice people. Even when it is something important that I believe in. Even when no one else is saying the same thing. I am learning I don't even need to give them an excuse. I may not totally understand it myself..... sometimes it is just no. There can be a danger in the word, though. Sometimes we get too good at saying it and forget to say yes on occasion. That can take us lead us into a dull and unchallenged life. Think before you answer the question....will it be no or will it be yes? The answer really is your choice....own it. And either answer can enrich your life and color your world. 

Day 23 of Love Month - I love freedom. It's so prevalent in our lives that sometimes we forget how much we have. Part of why I cherish it so much is that being a bit rebellious I have never done well with a lot of rules. From as far back as I can remember I felt like I was responsible for making my own decisions (my parents did not agree). I think I have also, however, always accepted that the privilege carried with it responsibility. Rules, laws, restrictions.....they tend to come because people can't handle freedom - they don't consider (or care about) the consequences to themselves or others, they don't want the responsibility it carries with it, and because they fear the perceived consequences. I've always loved the verse in I Corinthians that says "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial." Freedom is such a glorious gift.... but is usually not free or without consequences.

Day 24 of Love Month - I love that someone beeped at me when I was texting while stopped at the stop sign. Really, I do! I was wrong, they were right and yeah.... sometimes you need to be reminded. Even when your first reaction is to be annoyed with them. No one had been behind me and they just sorta sneaked up on me. Which means one of us was not paying attention. Which you (OK, I) really shouldn't do when you (OK, I) have accepted the responsibility of driving a vehicle. And it's against the law, which I should be respecting (whether I agree with it or not...and in this case I do agree with it!!!) This person was not law enforcement....who could have given me a ticket. Which also would be right and who I also would have no right to be angry with.

I can justify it all I want by saying I was stopped and so no one could be injured....but personally when I start allowing myself small excuses like that, they seem to grow into large ones. So join me and let's just refrain from doing stupid and careless things.....especially when we drive vehicles of any kind and could injure other people, property or ourselves. Consider it a love tap when someone draws it to your attention!

Day 25 of Love Month - I love a good story teller. I think I have all my life. Most of my childhood was spent with a book in hand. Sometimes I had to hide from my mom who, though she fully supported her kids being readers, thought I did it a little too much and wanted to force me to go outside and play in the real world.

My favorite people in the world were those who can spin a good yarn. Especially about the most mundane things. And best yet when they are funny. I think these are the people who notice life more than anybody else and those who use the past to brighten the future. If I am going to be stuck in an elevator, standing in a long line at the grocery store, or waiting out cancelled flight after cancelled flight at an airport, I want to have a good story teller on hand. As I am pretty good at picking a book off a library shelf, I am pretty good at finding someone in real life who will entertain me with a story. As a result, I suspect I spend far fewer boring hours than the average person!

As I have gotten older, I have discovered a silver lining to the crazy and horrible things that happen in life.....they can lead to a story that can entertain for years. If I run into someone who is very odd, get lost in a foreign city and can't find anyone who speaks English, try a new activity that I think just may lead to disaster (and it does), have one of those days when I feel like I am living in an alternate universe....these are all are great stories in the making. And yeah, I hereby publicly admit I am going to tell them over and over.....so if you don't want to hear them (or tell me those of your own), my best advice is don't sit next to me! 

Day 26 of Love Month - I love religion. Not the rituals and things we do by rote because we think we have to, because we suspect someone is watching, because that is what we have been taught that "good" people do, or even because our church tells us that is what we are supposed to do. Living life that way is both simpler, but more complicated, as it requires a certain focus on things that are less about honoring God than honoring man (and since we spend more time with other people, knowing the rules of man is so much easier...or they would be if we all agreed on what the rules are!)

Instead, I think religion contains a different level of discipline when we take off our human glasses and look at life the way God does. Love the verses in James that say "Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1: 26-27, NIV) 

When someone asks me whether I am "religious" my response is always "So how do you define religion?" The answer to how religious I am in God's eyes probably would most often be an NI ("Needs Improvement" for those who went to school in a different era/area than me.) But as I continue "taking the class", I like how God has given me one don't (keep your tongue in check) and a couple of do's (hey Kim, look after orphans and widows in distress...and keep yourself from being polluted!) For someone like me being religious is not something that comes naturally, so it is definitely a good class for me to stay enrolled in for life and continue to practice the basics every day. And I will make an effort, because while I'm not there yet, one day I really want to make an O ("Outstanding") at being religious! 

Day 27 of Love Month - I love people who give away their stuff. Most of us can just take a look around us and we have been blessed upon blessed with beautiful and functional things....way more than we actually use. I tend to get attached to my things sometimes....or just plain lazy.....and disregard that while I may never use it again, it could be just what someone else needs. While I don't think most of us are called to a spartan life, I think it is a useful discipline to regularly give things away.

You can give away your time, your talents, and even give away parts of yourself.... blood, platelets, major organs. I once saw a sick friend through a transfusion process (before, during and after) and was amazed to see her go from a point near death to life again. It floored me to see just what a little blood can do for a person. Though I had already given blood before that time, I now think of the recipient as I give and pray that it brings them life as it did Mary. And I celebrate how very blessed I am with the gift of health. 

Then there is my friend Jen Denis who is an example of a giver extraordinaire. She read an article on organ donation and saw that people needed them. Realized she had two functioning kidneys, only needed one and someone else could use the other. She then found a website with profiles listed for people who needed kidneys and picked one, almost at random (if I recall correctly, the woman's son liked the same music as Jen's little brother.) And so she gave this woman hers. A stunning gift and a stunning way to live a life. I'm not yet at a place where I am willing to follow in her footsteps, but if Jen ever needs a kidney, I'll be first in line. Our world needs people like her around as long as possible.  

Celebrate all you have today....but take a moment to think "What can I give away?" 


Day 28 of Love Month - I love when people know when to get off the merry-go-round. You remember the merry-go-round, right? Not the carousel with the horses, but that piece of playground equipment that you would either sit daintily on when others spin it or jump on as you help spin it, and then you ride it until it slows down and stops or you jump off mid-ride.

There always seemed to be that rogue spinner that would spin it into oblivion when I was on it, and at some point fear would take over before I could jump off, and I would have to ride it to the point where I was dizzy. What happens when you get to that point? You don't walk straight, you run into things, get a stomachache and vomit on people's shoes. What began as something fun, controls you and what you do and ruins a perfectly good day.

Such are those things in our lives that spin us out of control. They always start out as innocent fun (and they can be innocent fun for some people, which makes them harder for us to identify when they are a problem for us), but one day we realize that they are interfering with the plans we had for our life, they are keeping us from being the people we want to be, and they are keeping us from doing the things we want to do. They interfere with us finding joy in life.....and often take away joy from the lives of the people around us.

There are all kinds of obvious culprits (such as alcohol, food, relationships), but there are some that aren't quite as obvious. Things like our commitments, involvement with other people, shopping, procrastination, living life in fear, living the life other people have chosen for us, and having passion for nothing. Things that others may not even notice....in fact, things others may actually appreciate about us and encourage....but we know that they are holding us back from really living our best life.

When our life is filled with joy and purpose (which it should be, regardless of our circumstances), we need to examine ourselves and find our Achilles heel - the thing(s) that takes us beyond the point of no return on that merry-go-round and makes us sick. Then we need to figure off how to make that merry-go-round stop and just get off. Maybe the merry-go-round isn't so great after all and we need to just stay away from it. Maybe we need to watch who's doing the spinning. And maybe our day would be more exhilarating and way more fun, if we just head to the monkey bars. 

Day 29 of Love Month - I love the perfection of the Trinity. God, the father - our Creator, who knows us to the crevices of our bodies and minds; God, the son - the sibling that protects us with his life even when he knows we are guilty; and God, the spirit - our best friend who stays with us always and continually whispers in our ear advice as to how we can live the glorious life especially created for us. God's 3 in 1, who knows us all, knew us before we were ever born, sees how we live, and still doesn't want to blow it all up and start again.

I'm a doubter by nature, and God certainly knows I doubt Him every day. But also every day, He patiently shows me He alone is worthy of my faith and confidence. You look at our amazing world, you look at the art that is its people, you look in the mirror at you.....and how can you doubt that there has to be something more than we can see and touch, something that is greater than what our minds can comprehend?

I've never had a difficult time seeing myself as someone who can't do it on my own, someone who lacks perfection. (Yeah, I know....you don't have difficulty seeing this in me either!) I don't hate this imperfection (or sin) nearly enough, so I greedily grab any grace that is offered! Others can't do that, and just wallow in their sin, refusing to easily accept the gift of forgiveness and grace so freely offered. We both have work to do. Surely a God that has provided for us so well deserves our honor and our respect and our trust. For us, it is a work in progress to get our part right.

God has told us that his yoke is easy and his burden is light (Matthew 11:30.) That's when we know we are doing something wrong....when life is not easy and the burdens are overwhelming, we are taking on the jobs of the Trinity. We are trying to do the jobs the Father, the Son, or the Spirit have perfected and have offered to do on our behalf. And we just can't do it all by ourselves.....we do not have that capability. Freedom comes when we just give up trying, step out of the way and let the Trinity get to work. We are changed when we stay focused and watch God at work....and allow ourselves to get excited by it all instead of complacent. We can be used by the Trinity, but never when it is our own idea. 

So on this Leap Day, I urge you to leap into the arms of the Trinity, freefall into the love, power and protection you will find there. Enjoy the gifts offered in full. Perfection is not required....and is not expected. The Trinity has that covered, too! ♥♥♥