My Two Year Anniversary

It's the second anniversary of my blog. For an ADD (that's Attention Deficit Disorder) girl, that's a milestone! But it's been fun, it's been therapeutic, and has caused me to think out loud. Usually in a good way, I think. At times I have been vulnerable, at times not vulnerable enough. It has shown me my pride (often not the good kind!), my passions, and sometimes caused me to change myself. Still, I think I have probably only scratched the surface of where I need to go. There's exploration that needs to be done there. There are some subjects on which I have strong opinions, but for different reasons I have been reluctant to share my thoughts. Some of those I will probably never speak of publicly, but it often nags at me. When do you speak, when do you keep your mouth shut? It's a delicate balancing act. I hope I can be wise as to what is most important.

I'm a person who loves an opinion, and I admit a prejudice against some of you who never seem to have one on anything that counts. I don't buy it. You must have them! In fact, I will go as far as to say that I think you are a selfish coward if you keep them to yourself (bless your heart.) But I get it. I think we have lost the ability to debate  without taking things personally. I understand the reluctance to put yourself out there, to not want to be challenged by bullies who will try to smack you down if you disagree with them. We demonize people who dissent or dare to approach things from a different angle. But if we debate correctly, if we talk and listen instead of yelling with our fingers in our ears, we just may find new solutions that work for us all. We seem to have lost a level of civility. For example, I shake my head at Christians who disrespect our leaders because they think they are doing things against God's will....yet they don't fault themselves for not respecting their leaders. That splinter in the leader's eye is missed with the log in their own. I also shake my head at those who believe internet rumors or act like they know the inner minds of people they have never met. People who paint people by political party, or allow themselves to be painted. Truth is, we are all worth more than that.

It also bothers me how easily we give people life sentences for next to nothing. Someone makes a mistake, or is in a different place than us, or has a bad day, and we allow that to totally color who they are in our eyes. We also try to color the perceptions of others. I've seen myself do that to people and it's a habit I am trying to break. I often ask myself "Was that really a misdemeanor offense or a felony?"  If it's a felony, how long should they have to serve? Can I let them off when they serve their time or for good behavior? I want to be a fair judge. And yeah, you who say I shouldn't judge, That's wimping out in another way. Of course there is a degree to which we have to judge others. We have to be aware of those who can cause harm to ourselves or others, for example. But then again, there are many, many things that are simply none of our business. We should keep our nose out of those things. Really, you have enough of your own stuff you should be concerned about!

So as I begin the third year of my blog, my goal is to be a bit more vulnerable. To be a bit more opinionated. To be a lot more kind and a lot more brave. I want that verse that says "be strong and courageous" to take on new meaning in my life. That is my hope and my prayer. I want to celebrate good people, good places, and good things. I want to share my faith, which I really don't believe should be a private thing, but also I don't think it should be something I demand you believe. I like that God gave us free will...but I am also a Calvinist....I believe God pursues His people and allows them to go on unbelievable journeys. Sometimes through really crummy places as really crummy people. But as long as there is life, there is hope. And people can change. If they really look in the mirror.

I'm at an age where I am losing those dear to me too often, but I am also meeting babes who I may be fortunate to see grow to maturity and become interesting adults. We don't come with warranties and our lifetime guarantees vary. I think I finally am beginning to even see the beauty in that. It is a curious and amazing world, and I hope I get to write about it for another year.

But for today, thank you to those who read my thoughts.  Thank you to those who love me, thank you to those who encourage me, thank you to those who challenge me, and thank you to those who remind me of how little I know. There are places for me to explore, both physically and emotionally, and life on earth is short. I want to make it memorable....and worthwhile. Join me?

100 Random Things For Which I Am Thankful

  1. Velcro (really....first thing that came to mind)

  2. Razor sharp wit

  3. Protein bars

  4. Friends with low expectations

  5. Health care (regardless of its problems, a system that heals people)

  6. New running shoes (they still jump higher and run faster)

  7. Deep tissue massages (Yea Diana!)

  8. Solar lights

  9. Free stuff

 10. Cushioned chaise lounges

 11. 75 degree weather

 12. Policemen, firemen, paramedics, and servicemen (especially those who happen to be women!)

 13. Books.  All books.  Even those I don't like.

 14. Well designed bras

 15. My Pampered Chef stone cleaner (the tiny plastic wonder)

 16. Dean Smith

 17. A well placed cross

 18. Clever lyrics

 19. Things given in secret

 20. Dove's real woman advertising campaign

 21. Kindness

 22. Trouble - the game, not the thing some of us get into too often

 23. Tinted moisturizer

 24. Trader Joe's white bean hummus with Woven Wheat Wafers

 25. Fireworks, especially Klinger style

 26. Anne of Green Gables - yes, the old PBS one

 27. People who use their talents to help others

 28. Smoothies (a day's worth of fruits and vegetables in a couple of glasses)

 29. Firebirds chocolate cake with salted caramel sauce

 30. Politicians who are public servants
 31. Big, plush bath towels and little thin washcloths.
 32. My garage
 33. Responsible pet owners
 34. Giggle time
 35. People who can keep a secret
 36. Stretch denim
 37. People who give judiciously
 38. Common sense
 39. Attentive drivers

 40. Brilliance

 41. Anything Nerf

 42. 75% off

 43. Merchants whose stores are open when I can shop

 44. Repeated characters in books

 45. Maple trees in fall

 47. Jacuzzi tubs

 48. Good advice

 49. People who live their life out loud

 50. Family

 51. God laughing

 52. Do gooders

 53. Silence

 54. New hot air balloon pilots

 55. People who need people

 56. Pictures that remind me of the past

 57. Long term friendships 

 58. Clean sheets

 59. An empty dishwasher

 60. A big, diverse world

 61. Caregivers

 62. Freedom

 63. Humble churches

 64. A good Facebook status

 65. Happy endings

 66. People willing to lead

 67. Discovering my mind in a liar

 68. Hammocks

 69. 24 hour grocery stores

 70. Songs that make me smile

 71. Waterfalls

 72. Good beating evil

 73. A good customer service person (not a complete oxymoron)

 74. Passion in action 

 75. Tough love

 76. Zip lines

 77. Christmas lights

 78. Dr. Seuss

 79. Sorrento's

 80. Downtown Statesville

 81. Delayed gratification gratified 

 82. Hard work rewarded

 83. Organ donors, blood/platelet donors, and donors to medical research

 84. Surprising myself

 85. New life

 86. Sunscreen

 87. Post it notes

 88. Miracles

 80. Saved concert seats in heaven

 81. Love as a verb

 82. Opinions, matching mine or not

 83. A well-placed rainbow

 84. A body healthy enough to work out

 85. Dolphin sightings

 86. Watching kids grow up

 87. Vibrant sunsets

 88. A paycheck

 89. Silly souvenirs

 90. Balloons passed from friend to friend

 91. A good date

 92. Amazon.com

 93. Sharp knives

 94. Hugs

 95. Snuggling under a blanket

 96. Friends who cook for me

 97. Kayaks

 98. Rocking chairs

 99. Velvet scarves

100. Each moment of living

Thankful For the Wrong Things

It is early in the month of November and I am already enjoying the Facebook posts of a few friends who are posting what they are thankful for each day of the month.  As I was pondering the thoughts of some, it got me thinking about being thankful....and a related topic....people who are thankful for the very things that destroy them.

Yeah....trust me to find the dark cloud, but it is a frustration sometimes when you see people do this little exercise.  They'll say they are thankful for their family, but I see them treat their family in a way that is worse than they would treat a stranger.  They demean, or disrespect, or just don't notice they are there.  They aren't really finding joy in them.  Is that really thankful?

They will say they are thankful for a friend in their life that you know is not good for them.... someone who brings them down and does not build them up.  Someone who is making their path in life harder instead of easier.  Someone pulling them into the direction of pain and destruction instead of things that will make them happy and fulfilled.  Someone that is encouraging them towards misplaced passions instead of stoking the positive passions that will inflame their lives with good things.

They are thankful for possessions that pull them out of the real world and away from really interacting with people.  The big screen tv, the computer, the cell phone....they can all be amazing tools and life enhancers, or tools of destruction and, well, rudeness and disrespect of others.

They say they are thankful for jobs, education or "stuff", but these things make them think they are better people than those who have not had the same privileges.  They are thankful for pay checks, but when they get them they find they are already spent and simply pay off debts incurred because they are trying to live above their means...a lie, really....and debts continue to incur because they refuse to live a lifestyle they can actually afford.

They are thankful for good health, but don't do the work to maintain that good health.  They are sedentary, eat stuff that is like putting water in their gas tank, they smoke, they over-medicate on drugs they don't need, or obliterate their days with alcohol.  They are abusers of themselves.

They say they are thankful for God, but they haven't had a direct or truthful conversation with Him for a long time, or sat down quietly to simply listen to what He is telling them.  They pray for others, but not for themselves... either because they refuse to love themselves and see the image of God when they look in the mirror, or because they esteem themselves too much and think they can handle everything on their own.

They are thankful for the activities they are involved in, but are over-committed, under-committed, and/or doing things that don't match the priorities of their life.  Doing great things, but the wrong things....avoiding what they actually should be doing. Or they are living their lives aimlessly and wasting their days and investing all of their time in doing stupid things...but yet they say they are thankful for life.

I see myself here.  We need to periodically be at a place where we thoughtfully take an inventory.  I need to take stock and look around me and see that I am living a balanced and meaningful life.  A place where I appreciate the world around me.  A place where I am appreciated and respected and loved.  A place where I don't settle for mediocrity or the ho-hum.

A thankfulness exercise is a great place to start, but being thankful has to be more than words that sound good and pious and spiritual and are simply what we think people want to hear.  Am I thankful for the right things and does my life reflect that?  Am I living the life designed for me?  If not, what do I do to change that?  There is no better time than now to decide....and to be thankful for yet another day that gives us the opportunity to do that!