I Love Valentines That Come to Life

"You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving." Robert Louis Stevenson

"Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go." Mother Teresa

"If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love." Maya Angelou


I love Valentines that come to life.

Valentine's Day cards are nice. Lovely words, pretty pictures. Sometimes they are made by hand, with attention to detail and words from the heart. Sometimes the giver stood in the card aisle and read every single card to find the perfect one. Some make you giggle, some swell you heart. They are almost always a good thing.

Though I appreciate the greeting card, when a Valentine comes off of the paper, I appreciate it all the more.

Among the many legends of St. Valentine, it is thought he was a priest martyred for marrying soldiers in war when it was forbidden (Claudius II thought marriage made them bad soldiers) and for helping Christians who were being persecuted escape that persecution. They said when he was put to death for his actions (on February 14th) he left a note for the daughter of a jailer he had healed from blindness and signed it "Your Valentine." It's a nice thought, really. Much better than it being just a Hallmark day. The one who started this day possibly being someone who believed in the love of others enough to give his life to increase their happiness....and then the first Valentine not based on the desire for a boost in card sales, but instead a sweet note left for a girl whose life this man had changed, and who he knew would mourn his loss. I like the thought that this day celebrates the life of a man who lived his life well, courageously, and kindly. We can do the same.

A paper Valentine is one dimensional. They come alive when you breathe the life into them. How do you do that? By the actions accompanying the sentiment. I think the best Valentines are accompanied with whispers of "Because I love you best." Not necessarily the words themselves (though yeah....I think most of us would enjoy it) but backed up by actions all year long. Why is it so often that we don't treat those we love best as precious treasures? As cherished loves?

I think dying for love may be a bit less difficult than living for it. Love is a verb. It requires action. But it should also not be a chore. I've always loved the concept from scripture of giving cheerfully, joyfully, hilariously. 

"Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." 2 Corinthians 9:7

As a walking, breathing Valentine today I challenge you to not just give until it hurts. Keep giving to those you love until you feel good. Give not until you are dying, but until you are living. Until you abandon the things that keep you from loving them well (like the laundry list of all of their faults or the dumb expectations that you won't give up) and love them to life. It's only a Hallmark Day if it's just about the paper. It's a Heart Day if you are willing to give that instead.

I Love.......Organ Donors

I love ORGAN DONORS! My friend Phyllis posted on Facebook this morning that today is National Organ Donors Day. (Yes, she is also the catalyst for yesterday's post....she keeps us apprised of this important stuff!)

I am a big advocate of organ donation. I was even before I knew folks whose lives had been saved by it. But now.....knowing and seeing the new lease on life that people have received. Seeing parents live to raise their children and so their children can know them. Seeing sick children survive to live long lives. Seeing those who have suffered so much gain energy to live the lives they were too sick to live before. I really don't understand how people can say no.

Oh, I understand how it can freak you out. It freaked me out terribly the first time I was asked. I think I was at a bloodmobile, donating a pint. That was easy. The idea of donating my organs? Ummmmm.... I didn't think so. I told them I couldn't sign up for that then, but did take the form they gave me. Actually...they pushed it at me. I didn't have a choice. That form....it haunted me. I just couldn't fill it out. I think I finally threw it away. As I said, the concept freaked me out. I finally agreed to be an organ donor when I was asked during a license renewal. No....there wasn't a lot of enthusiasm. And then they told me I still had to go elsewhere and fill out another form.  (Insert screaming!) But I am an organ donor and my family knows this is my decision. Even if it took a while for me to decide.

Someone told me recently that they were afraid to agree to organ donation because they thought that it may make doctors give up on saving their life a bit faster if they thought they were getting organs. Once again, I understand. I suspect the truth is we have read a lot of books, watched a lot of TV and movies, and have active imaginations. When it gets down to it, I trust in the ferocity of my family. Nobody is getting my organs without getting passed them. Have you met my family? We're a stubborn lot.

My family.....they're the major reason I am such a committed donor. If any of them ever need an organ, I pray even now that they get it. The same for my other loved ones....my dear friends. But even strangers. The thought that I would be buried or cremated (or actually buried in one of those biodegradable containers with a tree planted with me...my current choice) with something that can give someone else life... I can't imagine. The body is going to deteriorate. I won't live there any more. Instead of saying no, isn't it a bit cooler that parts of me stay alive, and dances throughout the world? That some family gets their loved one back? Having had a wonderful life myself, it's pretty incredible to think that someone else can be gifted with that as one of my last acts. I'm just renting this body.....it is owned by God.

So organ donors....today is your day. Celebrate the life you have now....and the lives that parts of you may save one day. You're superheroes. Those who are willing to consider organ donation, learn more and sign up (http://www.organdonor.gov/about/donated.html). If you are an organ donor, tell your family so they don't have to try to read your mind at your death.

Happy Valentines Day, everyone. Love well, love often....accept some of the love that is extended your way. And consider giving the ultimate Valentine....donate your organs when you're through with them.

I Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

The Conversation Hearts

I have a lot of single friends that get very depressed around Valentines Day. No better reminder that in a coupled world, you're on your own. For some reason we often equate coupledom to worthiness, and a partner is the sign that someone has chosen us. That we are special. Yes, a myth, but a common one. It's an easily disproved myth. You look around coupledom and you can see quite easily that "special" was not a requirement of the status. You can look around singledom and see the lack of "special" has nothing to do with their status, either.

Even those quite content in their singles status get a bit annoyed at the pity that some throw their way at this time of year. (Or at any time of year). They see their singleness as one of the least important things about themselves, and to have it scrutinized is downright uncomfortable.

There are others that have lost love - to breakups, to divorce, to death, to apathy. They often are overcome with the emotion of it all. Sometimes with bitterness, sometimes melancholy, sometimes numbness. Sometimes with reminders of sweet memories that even now live in their hearts.

Truth is, I have a lot of coupled friends that get very depressed around Valentines Day, too. Some have mates that don't share their love of the holiday and they feel let down every year. Their expectations aren't met. Their heart is broken as their partner chooses not to acknowledge something that is very important to them, or can't seem to get it right. Often their partner is heartbroken themselves, knowing they don't meet these lofty expectations and feel crushed under the pressure of the obstacle course that is a maze to their love.

There are those who are struggling in their relationship, who don't feel like celebrating. They don't like each other at the moment and really aren't in the mood for expressions of their affection. They dread the question "So what are you guys doing to celebrate?" "Well, I am going to have a six pack and watch TV in my recliner and she's going to be slugging back a bottle of wine while watching Lifetime in the bedroom."

There are those for whom it is a big show. They get the two dozen red roses delivered to the office (one is not enough to express their love), the restaurant reservations at the most flashy romantic restaurants, the Jumbotron romantic gestures. Their huge public displays of affection that scream to the world "Are you looking at us?"( to which most of us silently answer "Yeah, but not for the reason that you think!")  They want everyone to observe the greatness of their "luv". I admit....I am intrigued. I am watching. But while I appreciate the show (OK...only sometimes), I usually see them as more shine than substance.

Then there are the people who I think get it right. Those who may participate in a bit of the corny schtick, but do it with a twinkle in their eye. They share the joke. They cater to the whims of their partner, because they like making them happy. They respect the one they love. They don't exert pressure; they don't come to the table with unrealistic expectations. Their true gift is each other, and they know it with every fiber of their being. Fact is, this day is no more of a celebration of their love than yesterday. What matters isn't one day of gestures, but every day of their life together. The way they treat each other when the spotlight is not on and no one is looking.

Though not in a relationship, I am a big romantic. I love celebrating love. I love seeing it around me and my heart is warmed when it is gifted to my family and friends. But I admittedly roll my eyes at the idea that it is about the candy, flowers, jewelry and grand gestures. I roll my eyes that it is always perfection. That is not the kind if love that I desire or the kind of love I feel that I am missing out on. That's not the kind of love that I think is real.

What I celebrate today is the kindness that I see as one cares for another. I celebrate those who make the one they say they love feel cherished. I celebrate those that honor the person they love - who don't ridicule or disrespect or easily become impatient with them. I celebrate those who are there to celebrate the good times and share the weight of the bad. I celebrate those who live love and don't just use it as a shiny display. Who love each other in spite of the warts. Whose souls are connected in a way that part of them, the unseen part, is bound together forever.

So I celebrate you folks who get it right today. You are my valentines. A special greeting card of hope. That love can be real, that it can be true. That it can be comfortable and fun and passionate. That it can endure the bad days, and the boring days, and the days you hate each other's guts, and yet still renew to become good again. You are the conversation hearts that sprinkle the world with tiny bits of sweetness and silently shout what true love is. Your love is an encouragement. One thing I know.....love is not about a day. It's about endurance. And another thing....when it is right, it is a great gift that reflects the very character of God.

Happy Valentine's Day! May you all feel loved and special....regardless of your circumstances.