Suicidal Dreams

Day 21 in Proverbs

Proverbs 21: 2-6  "We may think we are doing the right thing, but the Lord always knows what is in our hearts.  Doing what is right and fair pleases the Lord more than an offering.  Evil people are proud and arrogant, but sin is the only crop they produce.  If you plan and work hard, you will have plenty; if you are in a hurry, you will end up poor.  Cheating to get rich is a foolish dream, and no less than suicide."

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 We think of our dreams as wonderful things.....and often they are.  Sometimes, though, they are just empty illusions that we try to make come true by any means possible.  We see the dream and want it so badly that we'll do almost anything for it.....even if it kills our soul.

I really like that these verses talk about a certain kind of purity that pleases God.  A truthfulness that comes from the depth of our hearts.  I like that God values doing what is right and fair over any other thing that we can offer.  It probably resonates so strongly with me because those are qualities that I like in other people and those are qualities I try to build in myself.  I am glad they are also qualities God honors.

In contrast to those who are right and fair, are those who are proud and arrogant.  The self centered folk.  We celebrate self centeredness a bit in our country.  On occasion we call it good self esteem.  It's good to esteem yourself, but when you do it in a way that puts you over other people, and over God, that's not healthy self esteem.  That's arrogance.   Good self esteem is being confident in who you are and truthful in how you view yourself, but also not threatened by who others are and not viewing yourself as less as you see all that they are.

Arrogance tells us we deserve it all....and we deserve it all now.  Truth is, it's probably impossible to have it all.  All often overlaps.  For example, you can't really be single and be married.  You can't have children and freedom from the responsibilities of being a parent.  You usually can't have money without work (unless you inherit it or win the lottery), and you can't have stuff without money.  You can't have an education without learning (even if you have many useless degrees.)  You can't retire without having worked.

If we trust God, we need to know that we will get what we need at just the right time.  Not before that time.  We can't rush it.  When we rush it, we get our plan....not God's.  And our plan....it can seem OK for a while, but ultimately it's not our purpose.  Not the reason we were uniquely created.  We'll always go back to feeling constantly restless....because it just isn't the life for us.  Putting our plan into action brings consequences.  As it says here, it is suicide.  You were meant for more than suicide.....more than a dead life.  You were meant for hard work and for doing what is right and fair.  It's not always glamorous, but rewarding.  Doing those things will lead you on the path to the incredible.  To a life that is full of passion, not one that is the walking dead.