The Costa Rica Adventure - Ed Day

I know I say it often, but I don't believe things happen by chance. I am a believer in providence. Here's one of my favorite definitions:

 

"God, especially when conceived as omnisciently directing the universe and the affairs of humankind with wise benevolence." (Thanks dictionary.com.)

There are times in life when you realize things are super-naturally cool. Those moments when God reminds you are loved, he has his hand on you....and there is life beyond our earth.

Many of you knew my friend (and  Costa Rica travel companion) Ruthi's husband Ed Ristaino....or at least knew of him. Ed was tragically killed in a ballooning accident, dropping skydivers from his balloon at a festival in Georgia. It was exactly three years before the third day of our vacation in Costa Rica.

My luggage being lost meant that we changed the order of some of our activities on our vacation. That meant instead of a day at the hot springs, as originally planned, we spent the anniversary of Ed's death doing something called "The Adrenaline Adventure". In the pouring rain.

The description of this day said it was a ride on the sky tram, a canopy tour, and then a river drift. I love zip lines, so really I had no apprehension at all going into this day. It was what I most wanted to do in Costa Rica. In actuality it was a bit different than anticipated. Guess the title should have given me a clue.

The sky tram was about as you would think, though due to the weather there really wasn't a view! But this took us to the zip lines.

Ruthi had never zip lined, so was a bit apprehensive about that. I am not sure I told her anything about this day, other than zip lining was involved. Like me, Ruthi is not a fan of heights. But she was game to try. After the first one, she was fearless.

It was an odd day to zip line. The rain was coming down, hard and fast at times. Since you want to see the scenery as you zip, you try to keep your eyes open. Your eyeballs get a good washing. Actually it was a good pelting....that rain came down hard on the eyeballs. So....in some directions we could see little....in others you can see the mountains and lake area around the Arenal Volcano. But you could swing on the zip line!

The combination of rain and the fun of the ziplines bonds you with people in line quickly. We were all talking and joking back and forth. As we waiting in line at one station, a guy in his early twenties, who was a few people ahead of us in line, turned around and joked "Yeah, when you zip in the rain if you listen closely you can hear the voice of those who have fallen." Flippant comment by him, but it gave Ruthi and me chills.

After lunch we did another type of zip lines (carbon, I think they said). After we got to the platform for the last one, the "handler" held onto my harness and clipped it to a wire on other side of the platform. When Ruthi and the others came off, he did the same. I guess it was because it was very, very high.....and rocks and water were below. Remember that I hate heights? Yeah....I do. But it was beautiful. And I was clipped! Until I wasn't....and the guide was saying "Want to go first?" I wasn't quite sure what we were doing, but essentially they were attaching our harness to a rope and lowering us below. Did I say it was really, really high?

So the guy tells me to hold onto the rope, and then says "Step off". Huh. I did. I stepped off. Really didn't hesitate much. But then he says "Let go of the rope." What??????  There was a bit of hesitation, but the guy was yelling at me. I let go. And then probably screamed (because I am a screamer and it makes things more fun. And because I often do things that are outside my comfort zone.)

It got fun quick. I think I posed for the photographer who was posted at another point across from the platform we were lowered from. Floating down by rope was awesome and I didn't think I was going to die. Though I did yell at the "handler" below because he was busily getting ready for our tubing expedition and didn't seem to be in a position to catch me if I was going to come close to dying at the end. (He managed well.....and made sure I didn't land in the water. I think because of my coaching.)

Ruthi said she was also terrified.....for about a second and a half. Then she started laughing....and talking to Ed. We both think he had to be enjoying this day watching us from the heavens.

The floating on the river in inner tubes? Right! It was white water tubing. Yes, it was fun. And yes, that does fit a bit better with "Adrenaline Adventure". Still....it kept us on our toes! The water was fast and cold, the rocks plentiful. I couldn't figure out how to lay in the tube. You were supposed to keep your head up, but you were going so fast that it hurt your neck. You got so tired. I was also laughing hysterically most of the time. Not sure if that is normal or not. I tried resting my head on the tube....hmmmmm.....there was a reason we needed the helmets we wore. A few hits on rocks and I was sitting up much better. You'd occasionally get your tube caught on rocks....and try to move yourself off. Often it worked, but yeah...sometimes I just waited for the handlers. They were awesome guys and only too happy to "unstick" you. And having a chance to rest was nice on occasion....but soon you would be flying through the water again. It seemed to go on forever!

Such a crazy fun day....and I think a great way to celebrate the life of Ed. I think too often we focus on the death...especially when someone dies as tragically as Ed did it is difficult not to. For those of us in the ballooning community, we remember that time around his death so clearly. When we heard, nnd what we did in that time after we heard until his body was found several days later. The memorial service and the balloon releases. While we lost our friend, Ruthi's loss was immeasurably larger....she lost the love of her life. I can't even imagine.

But yet....to us Ed was life. He was vibrant. He was daring. He was fun. He was kind. You think of him and you think of that smile. That confidence. The swagger. My favorite memory is sitting on the ground at Charles & Kristie's farm, reloading film in my camera after a balloon ascension at our balloon association's Montgolfier Day party. Ed had caught a ride up with another balloon pilot, and as I sat there he landed right in front of me, having skydived from the balloon. He was graceful and so in control and it was thrilling to watch. He landed on his feet, and then shed the parachute as he was walking over to his balloon that had been inflated by his crew....and he jumped into that and took off. It was awe-inspiring...and very, very cool.

We could spend the anniversary of Ed's death crying and mourning his loss.....because we still feel it...or we can do things that would have made him smile. Ruthi picked the days of our vacation to take her away from some of the memories, but they do have a way of coming with you anyway. Oh,  I know how much he would have loved how she spent that day and how he would have cheered her on.....especially her challenging fears with passion and confidence. How she honored his memory when she did it all.

When we got to Costa Rica, at one point I reached into a pocket of the backpack I often travel with, and found the bracelet Ed's son Damien had made for me shortly after Ed's death. It is made out of parachute cord in the colors of one of Ed's balloons. That bracelet usually is in my jewelry box....I have no clue how it got in my backpack. But I wore it on "Ed Day" (as I did when I went sky diving). It wasn't there by accident.

We were where we needed to be that day, doing what we needed to be doing. Living life in a big way. As Ed did. His presence is still with us, because he was created uniquely by God to be in our lives for a reason. He became part of us, and therefore he lives.. That's supernaturally cool, I think. Something to celebrate. Providence.

A Game of "I Spy" With Our President

In our world today we seem to sensationalize and glorify the acts of people who have done nothing.  I love reality television, but my fascination with it is probably a bit different than most others.  I find the sociological aspects of it fascinating.  It celebrates the norm....or maybe it is more precise to say we celebrate less than the norm.  Supposedly it makes us feel really good about own dumb choices when we see someone on national TV making dumber choices for all the world to see.  For me I watch and think "What are people willing to do this for a tiny bit of fame and why?"  These silly people, often with less self-awareness and character than the average person, become household names.  Because we make them that way.  Because often we seem to celebrate it.  Which doesn't make me feel good about me at all.  But like I said,  it fascinates me because there are a lot of levels to it that say a bit of who we have become.  And I want to figure it all out, so I can figure out a solution.

Instead of glorifying the bad and mediocre, I think we need to point out the things in this world that are good, and the people who are doing them.  Keep up an ongoing game of "I Spy."  Remember that game?  I think the adult version should generally start out "I spy something good."  Or maybe we also need to add "I spy something bad" so people can identify that, too.  Because I think the lines are really fuzzy these days and for some reason people always define fuzzy as good.  Maybe we can add "I spy something mediocre" and help people see that it's not identical to good.   And for those cynics who buy into the reality tv culture and think only the tawdry is sensational and interesting, the real truth is....good does not have to be boring! 

Some of my friends are almost rabid when people use the word "hero" cheaply.  They say simply living up to your responsibilities shouldn't make a person a hero.  I agree that's probably right.  But in today's time, living up to your responsibilities has become way too rare.  Things that used to be rare, are now common.  Teaching your children right from wrong (and modeling it so they can see it in action), paying what you owe (even if it requires extreme sacrifice), looking out for the needs of the others around you, being a good neighbor, being a good employee, looking after your family and friends, noticing injustice and taking action - these have all in some ways become heroic acts to us because they now so outshine the norm.  We have lowered our standards and lowered our expectations of what we should expect ourselves to be.  Not that I am a believer in shaming people for their failures or hiding our own imperfection....but we shouldn't celebrate it either.

My personal definition is that a hero is an ordinary person who does extraordinary things when faced with a challenge.  Not the definition that others may use, but it is how I choose to define it.  As someone I admire.  From what I have seen the best heroes don't like the label, because it is inconceivable to them that simply doing the right thing can give them a title that is to them the highest level of esteem.  Which they don't see in themselves because they just see the ordinary. But our character comes out in these times of challenge and while a heroic act shouldn't cover over the rest of who we are, it does show a dimension of it....who we can be when we are put to a test.  And at times this needs to be acknowledged and celebrated.  So for me a hero, a person I admire, is someone who simply makes the right choice at the right time.  The impact of that causes ripples that travel the world.

The Presidential Citizens Medal has been given out for over 40 years to Americans who have "performed exemplary deeds of service for their country or their fellow citizens."  If you go to this site Presidential Citizens Medal you can find out about a few of the recent recipients of the award.  It strikes me that a lot of them are simply normal people, who have used their lives for others.  Many are people who have used their own personal tragedy to make a difference.  I like that we honor this.

There are a group of us who believe Ed Ristaino should be a posthumous recipient of this medal.  When faced with a challenge, he made choices that were a testament to his character.  He was piloting his hot air balloon, carrying five skydivers who were going to jump from the balloon.  When a storm unexpectedly came up (yes, it happens even with all the amazing weather prediction tools we have today), he was faced with the challenge of keeping all of them all safe.  He put the balloon in position for the skydivers to jump, and ordered them to do so.  Right then.  Even though it meant the weight of his basket would drop, which would make it even more difficult for him to land his balloon safely.  All five skydivers lived, Ed's balloon was ravaged by the storm and he lost his life.  An ordinary American who did something extraordinary when faced with a challenge.

I can argue that Ed was more than ordinary in his day to day life.  He cared for others, in both his job and in his personal life.  He got involved and helped make dreams come true.  He was not a man who was content to just exist and go through the motions.  But simply by saving the five skydivers, he let our country keep five people who in their own ways will change the our country and our world.  That one unselfish act will impact generations.  In both ordinary and extraordinary ways.

Please join us in our little game of "I Spy" by asking our President to honor Ed's memory with this award.  You can sign a petition at Ed Ristaino for the Presidential Citizen's Medal,  review the qualifications at Qualifications of Presidential Citizens Medal , or write your own letter of recommendation to bring Ed to our President's attention.  

If you aren't familiar with the "I Spy" game, just begin by telling him "Mr. President....I spy something great."  Normally then he would guess until he sees what you see.  But let's suspend the rules of the game a bit and not let this busy man just guess until he gets it right.  Give him a lot of clues so he can see what we see and quickly win the game!  I don't think in this instance it would be considered cheating.  

(Oh....and P.S.  He doesn't have to be the only one you play the game with.  Your senators, your House members.....anyone who may be able to get the ear of the president and make a nomination is a good playmate!  Here's another place to get you started....Link to Contact Info for our Elected Officials.  But remember many of them are out amongst us.  If you see them, have an in-person conversation!  And spread the word to all of your friends.  You can ignore the buzz of one little bee, but not the roar of thousands.)

A Time To Begin

After spending the month of February loving things on Facebook, several friends had serious discussions with me about the need to continue to write.  They made a special point to do so.  As I always say, if I have one gift it is picking friends.  People who encourage me to do things they think will enrich my life and cheer for me to say what I think (whether they agree with me or not.)  I resisted at first, but February was a good month to consider a lot about what I think and believe and the daily discipline of writing it down was good for me.  Scary, too.  As an introvert by nature, sometimes I become too possessive of my own thoughts and don't want to take the risk that comes when you think out loud.  Especially publicly.  But since I have vowed that this is the time of life I will continue to do things that scare me, here I go...

March has been an emotional month and a pivotal month in the lives of many of my friends.  As many of you know, Ed Ristaino was a member of our local hot air ballooning community and just two weeks ago at an event in Georgia he lost his life in what was really a freak accident.  A crazy unexpected storm came up and after dropping the five skydivers in his basket to safety, his balloon was essentially ravaged by the storm.  Even in the midst of this, Ed kept his cool until the end, talked to his crew and let them know what was going on, and from what I have heard did everything that he was supposed to do.  Still, we lost him to this earth and none of our lives will ever be the same.

I didn't know Ed well, but he was well loved by many of those that I love and I was around him on quite a few occasions.  Plus he was a member of this community of people that I am bonded to and love so dearly, so his death hit pretty hard.  Seeing those you love in pain wrenches your heart.  He was one of those people I wanted to know better, so I will always hate that I did not get that time.  My favorite memory of him was the first time I saw him sky dive.  I was sitting out on the field at a Montgolfier Day party, having just watched most of the balloons ascend, changing my camera battery.   All at once I sensed something overhead and there was Ed, having ridden up with another pilot and jumped out of their basket.  What struck me the most was the beauty and the grace with which he "flew" and landed.....and how quickly he recovered, and ran over to his own balloon and took off.  I am sure my eyes were sparkling as I watched the whole thing....that joy of life and realization that you can go from one adventure to another.  Fun stuff.  The kind of people I like to hang out with.

But Ed is to be remembered for more than that.  While I think he will be appreciated for that side of him, he will be remembered for his investment in the lives of others.    He used his hobbies to bring joy to other people's lives, his job to bring revived health.  I remember him giving Amanda, the handicapped niece of some of my ballooning friends and a constant presence at most ballooning events (our mascot!), her first balloon ride.  Who didn't shed a few tears watching that?  He was a mentor for people like my friend Mike, who is studying to be a balloon pilot, and was helping Mike realize his dream of owning a balloon.  He was an encouragement and a man of vision.  His memorial service had moments of sadness, because his presence will be missed, but mostly it spoke of a man well loved and a life on earth well lived.

My last long conversation with Ed started with me asking his advice about my goal of skydiving in 2012, but somehow worked into his reflective thoughts about losing his dad.  One thing I am quite confident in after that conversation....he would not have mourned his own life, nor want life to stop without him.  He'd be encouraging our next adventures!   As I do skydive in 2012, I am sure I will think of him.  And while I will never have his grace, I hope I carry with me a piece of his adventurous and loving heart.

In the midst of celebrating Ed's life, we also celebrated the marriage of Allie and Drew, balloonists who are the children of balloonists, all friends and very special to a lot of us.  While it could also have been a time for mourning, it was a time of great joy.  There were smiles, there was laughter, there was dancing.   There were people supporting each other and determination that there would be joy!   When you all come together with that determination, how sweet it is to experience.

I keep thinking of Ecclesiastes 3 this month....
" ¹ There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:
 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace."

And then these great verses..
" ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God."

As this week we have all tried to get back on normal footing, we find there is no real normal.  The pain of this life doesn't stop, there will be more tears and more missing him, but yet we take comfort in the memories, cherish his impact on our life, and find reasons to laugh again.  This week I have already experienced more loss as my brother-in-law's dad passed on.  He will be missed, but his big personality will continue to be remembered.  Also this week I got to hug members of my family, laugh with my friends, and work alongside my co-workers.  We have been gifted with each other in this world, a great gift, but it is a temporary gift.  Should we spend our days mourning that or fearing the loss of those in our lives?  Or do we celebrate each day with each other in gladness?  Ecclesiastes is quite honestly a depressing book in most places.  But it does contain a lot of truth.  You can choose to see each moment of life as meaningless.....or you can choose to live it fully, happily, with purpose, and with thanksgiving.