Falling into Neophilia (or "Yes I Did Go Out of That Airplane at 3500 ft")

I must be honest.  I really didn't jump out of an airplane (or a "perfectly good airplane" to quote most people.)  Here is what it is really like.  Or at least how I remember it.  I fully understand that those two things could be slightly different.

I had to sit in the open doorway of the airplane in flight, my feet dangling over the edge. (Yep....I looked around as I sat there and noticed quickly that earth was pretty far down below, but before I had time to dwell on it, I remembered the sage advice I had been given throughout the day and turned to look at the airplane instead).  Then I had to brace one hand on the right of the doorway and the other on the wing, slide onto this little step as I grab onto the wing while standing up, scoot over on the wing until I got beyond the step and supposedly had both hands inside these black lines that were painted on the wing (yep....that means beyond the step and with nothing beneath your feet but air very quickly) and turn "confidently" over to my left to look at my instructor Amanda, and wait until she gave me the thumbs up to drop from the sky at about 3500 ft.  Yeah, really.  Sort of shocked and horrified me, too, when she first described what would happen.  But when she gave me that thumbs up I let go and let myself fall without hesitation.  And there I went.....falling through the sky all by myself.   My security blankets, Amanda and Damien, still in the plane.  I know.....why would I do that?

So OK.  I wasn't totally by myself for long.  As soon as I felt the jerk back that they had told me would mean that the parachute was opening as it was supposed to, a voice started to talk calmly over the walkie talkie strapped to my chest and coach me the rest of the way down on the things Amanda and Damien had been going over with me all day.  At first he had me do lots of test things in the air.  He said "Let's practice landing position...", and I did that.  He had me turn it to the left, and I did that.  He had me practice landing position again.   And then turn to the right.  And then a series of rights and lefts until it was time to get into position to land for real.  There was no time for just hanging out and examining the view....there were things to do for the whole flight.  But I did happen to notice a few glimpses of land as I was doing it all (since I am female and can multi-task).....and I have to say that Walterboro is prettier from the air than it appears on the ground.   I didn't get the perfect stand up landing, but it wasn't horrible either.  I landed quite softly on my knees (the lessons on the proper falling and rolling technique if you couldn't stand up on landing....I must not have mastered.  Or probably more accurately, they just didn't come to mind.  But I still think my technique worked out quite well.)  I underestimated how much force I would need to apply to the straps at the end, or I think I could have stuck it!!!  But that was it.  The voice on the other end of the radio comes in a golf cart to pick me and my parachute up and we head back to the hangar.  I had skydived!

If any of you read my very first blog entry ("A Time To Begin", March 31) I talked about Ed Ristaino, a balloon pilot friend (and skydiver) who I had been getting advice from when I decided that 2012 would be the year I skydived.  Ed was killed in March in a ballooning accident.  Damien is his son, and after I wrote that blog Damien offered to take over advising where his dad left off.  One "small" difference. Where Ed had been advising me on where to take a tandem jump, Damien wouldn't even entertain the idea of me doing a tandem.  He decided I would enjoy a static line jump more (let me point out that this was before he had  even gotten to know me.)  It was ridiculous how easily he convinced me.  But I am glad he did.  I can do a roller coaster ride any day.

I had wanted to jump tandem for years, and the one time during those years I let me mind explore the idea of jumping out of an airplane (just tandem), I got unreasonably scared.  Pure mental horror, to be exact. That fear actually lasted for about 24 hours.  It was very weird. (Note:  No plans had actually been made to jump at this point.  This was pure daydreaming.  Or nightmaring.  Reality is not necessary for me to scare myself to death.). But that was the worse fear I ever had about skydiving.  It surprises me.  While I probably was petrified underneath when I was doing it, what I honestly felt was better described as confusion and bewilderment.  "I'm really doing this?????"  "Amanda was right?  I actually can hang from the wing of an airplane??????"

Not only did I make that jump, but in jumping by myself I went totally exploded the limits of what I thought my capabilities were.  Back when I was talking to Ed at that Mongolfier party in November, even jumping tandem was a stretch for me. It was beyond comprehension that I would jump on my own.  Of course it was also beyond comprehension that Ed would be watching my jump from above.  But I think he was and I think he was delighted.  With both me and Damien.  I was wearing a bracelet that Damien made me in Ed's memory.   He was a part of my team.

(Steve Brady....I also was wearing the "Magcell Warriors" shirt you brought me back from Iraq.  You still trump me for bravery, but also it reminded me if you could do that, I could do a little skydive!  Though Scarlett Johannson was not around for me to have my picture taken with her at any point in the day.)

Amanda, my coach, was a great blend of encouragement and determination.  She always kept the edge of "It is important that you learn this and do what I say or you will die," but always appeared very optimistic that I wouldn't.  I believed her.  Most of the time.  Except when she told me that I would be able to hang out on that wing while in the air that high and it wouldn't be as bad as I imagined.  She even proved to be right then, though.

Now I just may have nightmares of the "If you see this thing going wrong, this is what you need to do" part of the skydiving training.  My junior and senior years in high school my history teacher, Mr. Gainey, would give us "picture tests."  Mr. Gainey's room had pictures from floor to ceiling....anywhere there may be wall space were pictures and some other place's too.  Thousands of them.  With each unit of study we would have something like 100 pictures to learn.  We'd get tested on maybe 50 of them.  He would hold up the picture and you would have to tell him who it was and where they were from.  I usually did well on picture tests, but they created agony for me in the learning process and until the test was over.  They did not come easily for me, and were probably the thing that I studied for more than anything else during those high school years.

Damien and Amanda returning from their jump

Let me describe the skydiving "picture test".  Me all harnessed up with skydiving gear, almost hanging, but not quite, Amanda on one side of me and Damien on the other.  Amanda would give the order and we would drill through the procedure that I was supposed to follow when hanging out on the wing.  (A concept I still wasn't wrapping my head around.)  Then I was supposed to look up (as if I were looking at my parachute overhead) and Damien would hold a picture over my head.  I was supposed to tell them if anything was wrong with the picture and if so, drill through the procedure I needed to follow if there was.

Let's just say high school picture tests did not fully prepare me for this.  My mind did not work fast enough to figure out what was wrong.  Was it the ropes or the canopy that was messed up?  It sort of looked like both, but then again, maybe it was supposed to look like that and it was OK?  Then I would get distracted....what was that thing called that kept the ropes from getting tangled and was supposed to be above my head when the chute opened?  At the time as my mind was trying to think, both Amanda and Damien would be trying to get me to answer quickly and instinctively and do something!  We did it over and over and over again.  Yeah, that was the most stressful part of the day.  And I still don't know for sure that I could identify any of the issues in the air and make the proper adjustments.  But I am quite confident I know where the pull for the reserve chute is and I have that procedure DOWN!

When I was in the plane and getting ready to jump, I noticed the bumper sticker to the left on the door.  Funny how small things bring comfort.  It really did relax me.  Well, that and knowing that I didn't see any anxiety on Amanda's face.  I knew she wouldn't let me ruin her perfect record of not losing anyone in a jump. She is a competitor.

So yeah, back to Saturday's post.  I think I am a neophiliac, even though I still need to take the written test.  I recommend it.  Be it skydiving or some other adventure.  Go ahead and give it a try.   You can and should go beyond your own expectations for yourself.  Though I recommend you have a good team to back you up!

"If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good"
Dr. Seuss, "One Fish, Two Fish"

Teetering on the Border of Neophilia

It was just a little blurb I noticed in a magazine this week.  "Neophilia [n 'fil]: noun A love of novelty and thrill-seeking.  This trait has long been associated with impulsive troublemakers, but researchers have recently identified it as one predictor of health and happiness.  Do you like traveling to unfamiliar, far-flung places?  Are you one to make decisions quickly without much information?  If you answered yes, you might just be a neophiliac." Health magazine, June 2012

So it got me thinking....am I a neophiliac?  I definitely have a love of novelty.  Always liked the thing that didn't belong with the others the best.  Everyone who knows me at all knows I love traveling to unfamiliar, far-flung places.  I make some decisions quickly and without much information.  Usually only big ones.....I agonize over little things like what color to polish my toes or what restaurant to choose.  But I think that the scale of the decisions I have made with very little thought or information would probably weigh down all the others.

Am I an impulsive troublemaker?  Yeah, maybe sometimes.  Usually by necessity.  I would much rather plan and savor making trouble, but usually trouble needs to happen when it needs to happen.  (Though I want to make it clear that I always try to make trouble for the good...and hopefully never out of pure meanness.)

But am I a thrill seeker?  I never have thought I was, but yeah....maybe I am starting to lean in that direction.  We're going to see for sure tomorrow.  I will be giving skydiving a try.  I have wanted to do it for a while, though my mental visual was doing it tandem...fully attached to someone who knew what they were doing.   While that still would have been scary for me, I am sort of an anti-control freak so the idea of someone else being in charge of it all appealed to me (though I did intend to make sure they loved their lives before we jumped and that there was no history of depression or mental illness.)

But according to my friend Damien, that is not enough for me.  No, evidently skydiving tandem is"just a roller coaster ride" (though I love roller coaster rides) and I really"want to fly."  For some reason I bought his theory without hesitation.  OK, there was some hesitation.  But not a lot for a person of reason.  Which I think probably still goes back to my anti-control freak tendencies...I'll do what he advises, since this is something he knows more about than me. But also it is because he is pretty persuasive...and yeah he's right, I want to fly!  Though he doesn't get the responsibility for my decision.  Has anyone ever known me to do much of anything I don't want to do? 

Tomorrow I "fly" (or static jump) with Damien's girlfriend Amanda as my instructor.  She assures me she hasn't lost anyone yet....and she sounded confident that I would not break her perfect record.  (Come think of it, I didn't clarify the term "lost."  And Amanda doesn't know me well so she may be a bit optimistic.)  I have purposely not found out a lot about it so I wouldn't think much about the reality of it, so about all I know is that I will have to climb on the ledge and jump off the plane myself (though Amanda and Damien will be there coaching and encouraging me), and the chute will supposedly open on its own.  While I haven't researched at length, I can promise you that tomorrow I will pay attention in class.  While I have a tendency to have a wandering mind, hopefully this will not be one of those days!  Funny how fear makes you pay attention.

So I'm not afraid yet, though that's probably because I am just not thinking about it in much detail.  The idea of stepping off of a plane....that's actually about a mile up in the air....is inconceivable to me.  Probably one reason I want to do it, but as someone that is so terrified of heights I don't really even want to stand on a ladder, I know that it's a little crazy.  When it becomes a reality, and the plane is in motion, I am sure I will be saying to myself "What was I thinking?"

But do I think I will back out?  Probably not.  I generally do what I say I am going to do.  The truth is that I do love to fly.  I love airports, I love big planes, I love little planes, I love hot air balloons.....why wouldn't I love this?  Well, except for facing the fear of heights thing.  And having to actually step off the plane onto nothing but air.  But gravity will be taking me down, and the parachute will be softening the blow. 

When I para-sailed a couple of years ago I was a bit disappointed.  It was nice and beautiful (I was in Bermuda), but it just didn't seem as adventurous as I had anticipated.  It was like being on a ferris wheel.  So this just may bring a bit more fun.  That is my hope.  Being scared certainly makes you feel strong emotion....and surviving that fear makes you feel strong.  Stay tuned.....and I will give you my perspective after going to school and making a jump! 

The magazine I was reading (Health) was supposed to have a quiz online so I could see if I am a neophiliac.  It wasn't online, so I will just have to use this as my real life test!  I hope I am.  Healthier and happier.....definitely those are primary goals in my life!

Some people have told me they think I am crazy for doing this because of the danger.  Risk avoidance may keep you safer, but does it increase the pleasure in your life?  The reality is you can't avoid risk.  Every year my company pays tribute to 175 of our colleagues who were killed in the 9/11 attacks.  That day they just went to work. 



"And wow! Hey! What's this thing coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding word like... ow... ound... round... ground! That's it! That's a good name - ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me?"   Douglas Adams, 'Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy.'

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."   Isaiah 40:31

A Game of "I Spy" With Our President

In our world today we seem to sensationalize and glorify the acts of people who have done nothing.  I love reality television, but my fascination with it is probably a bit different than most others.  I find the sociological aspects of it fascinating.  It celebrates the norm....or maybe it is more precise to say we celebrate less than the norm.  Supposedly it makes us feel really good about own dumb choices when we see someone on national TV making dumber choices for all the world to see.  For me I watch and think "What are people willing to do this for a tiny bit of fame and why?"  These silly people, often with less self-awareness and character than the average person, become household names.  Because we make them that way.  Because often we seem to celebrate it.  Which doesn't make me feel good about me at all.  But like I said,  it fascinates me because there are a lot of levels to it that say a bit of who we have become.  And I want to figure it all out, so I can figure out a solution.

Instead of glorifying the bad and mediocre, I think we need to point out the things in this world that are good, and the people who are doing them.  Keep up an ongoing game of "I Spy."  Remember that game?  I think the adult version should generally start out "I spy something good."  Or maybe we also need to add "I spy something bad" so people can identify that, too.  Because I think the lines are really fuzzy these days and for some reason people always define fuzzy as good.  Maybe we can add "I spy something mediocre" and help people see that it's not identical to good.   And for those cynics who buy into the reality tv culture and think only the tawdry is sensational and interesting, the real truth is....good does not have to be boring! 

Some of my friends are almost rabid when people use the word "hero" cheaply.  They say simply living up to your responsibilities shouldn't make a person a hero.  I agree that's probably right.  But in today's time, living up to your responsibilities has become way too rare.  Things that used to be rare, are now common.  Teaching your children right from wrong (and modeling it so they can see it in action), paying what you owe (even if it requires extreme sacrifice), looking out for the needs of the others around you, being a good neighbor, being a good employee, looking after your family and friends, noticing injustice and taking action - these have all in some ways become heroic acts to us because they now so outshine the norm.  We have lowered our standards and lowered our expectations of what we should expect ourselves to be.  Not that I am a believer in shaming people for their failures or hiding our own imperfection....but we shouldn't celebrate it either.

My personal definition is that a hero is an ordinary person who does extraordinary things when faced with a challenge.  Not the definition that others may use, but it is how I choose to define it.  As someone I admire.  From what I have seen the best heroes don't like the label, because it is inconceivable to them that simply doing the right thing can give them a title that is to them the highest level of esteem.  Which they don't see in themselves because they just see the ordinary. But our character comes out in these times of challenge and while a heroic act shouldn't cover over the rest of who we are, it does show a dimension of it....who we can be when we are put to a test.  And at times this needs to be acknowledged and celebrated.  So for me a hero, a person I admire, is someone who simply makes the right choice at the right time.  The impact of that causes ripples that travel the world.

The Presidential Citizens Medal has been given out for over 40 years to Americans who have "performed exemplary deeds of service for their country or their fellow citizens."  If you go to this site Presidential Citizens Medal you can find out about a few of the recent recipients of the award.  It strikes me that a lot of them are simply normal people, who have used their lives for others.  Many are people who have used their own personal tragedy to make a difference.  I like that we honor this.

There are a group of us who believe Ed Ristaino should be a posthumous recipient of this medal.  When faced with a challenge, he made choices that were a testament to his character.  He was piloting his hot air balloon, carrying five skydivers who were going to jump from the balloon.  When a storm unexpectedly came up (yes, it happens even with all the amazing weather prediction tools we have today), he was faced with the challenge of keeping all of them all safe.  He put the balloon in position for the skydivers to jump, and ordered them to do so.  Right then.  Even though it meant the weight of his basket would drop, which would make it even more difficult for him to land his balloon safely.  All five skydivers lived, Ed's balloon was ravaged by the storm and he lost his life.  An ordinary American who did something extraordinary when faced with a challenge.

I can argue that Ed was more than ordinary in his day to day life.  He cared for others, in both his job and in his personal life.  He got involved and helped make dreams come true.  He was not a man who was content to just exist and go through the motions.  But simply by saving the five skydivers, he let our country keep five people who in their own ways will change the our country and our world.  That one unselfish act will impact generations.  In both ordinary and extraordinary ways.

Please join us in our little game of "I Spy" by asking our President to honor Ed's memory with this award.  You can sign a petition at Ed Ristaino for the Presidential Citizen's Medal,  review the qualifications at Qualifications of Presidential Citizens Medal , or write your own letter of recommendation to bring Ed to our President's attention.  

If you aren't familiar with the "I Spy" game, just begin by telling him "Mr. President....I spy something great."  Normally then he would guess until he sees what you see.  But let's suspend the rules of the game a bit and not let this busy man just guess until he gets it right.  Give him a lot of clues so he can see what we see and quickly win the game!  I don't think in this instance it would be considered cheating.  

(Oh....and P.S.  He doesn't have to be the only one you play the game with.  Your senators, your House members.....anyone who may be able to get the ear of the president and make a nomination is a good playmate!  Here's another place to get you started....Link to Contact Info for our Elected Officials.  But remember many of them are out amongst us.  If you see them, have an in-person conversation!  And spread the word to all of your friends.  You can ignore the buzz of one little bee, but not the roar of thousands.)